自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Structure your answer with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two concise supporting details using linking words. Use correct tense and simple, natural phrases. For example, say you had a bike, who bought it, and why it was useful. Avoid long, unclear clauses and repetition.

示例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My father bought it for me, and I used it to ride to junior high school every day because it was faster than walking. It was very convenient and saved me time.

建议: Begin with a direct opinion, then give two specific reasons linked with simple connectors (because/also). Use correct nouns and short, clear sentences; avoid vague or incorrect words. Mention who uses bikes and why they are popular (cost, convenience, environment).

示例: Yes, I think bikes are very popular in my country. Many people, especially students and workers, use them because they are cheap and convenient. Also, bicycles are easy to maintain and useful for short trips in crowded cities.

× Here I have a bike would not change that my father brought it for me, as this is convenient for me to take the junior high school and the junior high school I write my back.

✓ I have a bike that my father bought for me. It is convenient for me to ride to junior high school, and I use it to carry my books on my back.

The original sentence has multiple structure and verb issues (run-on sentence, incorrect verb forms, and awkward phrasing). Split into clear sentences and correct verbs: 'brought' should be 'bought' (past simple of buy) and 'would not change that' is unclear, so replaced with 'that my father bought for me.' 'Take the junior high school' is incorrect; use 'ride to junior high school.' 'I write my back' is ungrammatical; intended meaning is likely 'I carry my books on my back.' Suggestions: keep one main idea per sentence, use correct past tense verbs for completed actions, and use natural collocations (ride to school, carry books).

× Yeah, I think back is almost most popular transportation in our country, Lots of people go walking or go to school and always use bike.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are among the most popular forms of transportation in our country. Many people walk or ride bikes to school and often use bicycles for short trips.

Errors include wrong noun form ('back' instead of 'bicycle/bike'), incorrect quantifier phrasing ('almost most' is wrong), capitalization error and pluralization. 'Lots of people' is informal but acceptable; improved to 'Many people.' Also consistency in plural 'bikes' and 'bicycles' and verb agreement 'ride bikes.' Suggest using 'among the most popular' or 'one of the most popular' and correct plural nouns and verb forms.

× And also our country's income is very convenient for the shell bikes.

✓ Also, bikes are very affordable for people in our country.

The phrase 'our country's income is very convenient for the shell bikes' is ungrammatical and uses inappropriate words ('convenient' and 'shell'). The intended idea is affordability. Use adjective 'affordable' to describe bikes and clarify the subject as 'people in our country.' Suggest using clear adjective-noun collocations (affordable bikes, low income, inexpensive bicycles).