自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Improve fluency and coherence by removing hesitation and unnecessary fillers, and follow a clear structure: state a direct topic sentence, add one or two specific supporting details, and finish with a brief concluding remark. Use linking words such as “and”, “so”, or “then” to connect ideas. Also correct minor grammatical issues (e.g., “bought it from a friend” is fine, but avoid unclear phrases like “their area in front of the, my house”).

示例: Yes, I did. I bought a second-hand bike from a friend when I was about nine, and we used to ride around the street in front of my house every afternoon. We often raced each other and explored nearby parks, so it was one of my favourite childhood activities.

建议: Make your answer more grammatical and concise. Start with a clear opinion sentence (Yes/No + reason), then add specific supporting details (statistics, examples, or consequences) and use linking words like “because”, “so”, or “therefore.” Avoid double negatives and incorrect phrasing (e.g., “nobody there can afford no buying fuels” should be “many people cannot afford fuel”). Keep to a maximum of four or five sentences.

示例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because many people cannot afford cars or high fuel costs. For example, adults often commute by bicycle to work, and students use bikes to travel to school. As a result, bike lanes and parking areas are common in most cities.

× I did have a bike when I was a child.

✓ I had a bike when I was a child.

Using 'did have' adds unnecessary emphasis in simple past; the normal form is the simple past 'had'. Use 'did' + base verb only for questions or to add contrastive emphasis. Suggestion: say 'I had a bike when I was a child.'

× Uh, I, I bought it from a friend of mine and we played together, uh, all over the, uh, their area in front of the, my house and then, uh, unfortunately.

✓ I bought it from a friend of mine and we played together all over the area in front of my house, but unfortunately ...

The original sentence has disfluent fillers and unclear possessive phrases ('their area' conflicts with 'my house') and a trailing 'unfortunately' without completing the thought. Remove redundant fillers, use consistent possessive ('the area in front of my house'), and connect clauses with 'but' to show contrast. Suggestion: reorganize the sentence, finish the idea after 'unfortunately' or remove it.

× In my country actually uh bikes out the main uh, and primary uh, way of transport because we don't have many cars over there or the fuel uh prices are very high, so nobody there can afford no buying fuels for his car.

✓ In my country, actually, bikes are the main and primary way of transport because we don't have many cars and fuel prices are very high, so most people cannot afford to buy fuel for their cars.

Multiple problems: word order and missing verb ('bikes out the main' should be 'bikes are the main'); article and adjective redundancy ('main and primary' is repetitive but acceptable); double negative ('nobody... can afford no buying' should be affirmative negative 'cannot afford to buy'); incorrect pronoun 'his car' should be gender-neutral plural 'their cars' or 'their car'. Use present simple 'are' for general facts. Suggestion: use clear subject-verb order, avoid double negatives, and use 'their' for general people.