学习— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Clarify the opening sentence and avoid unnecessary words. Start with a direct topic sentence (I am a master's student) then add concise supporting details using linking words. Keep it under five sentences and correct minor grammar issues (e.g., "I'm studying for a Master of Science in Project Management").

示例: I am a Master of Science student in Project Management. My course is hybrid: I attend online classes twice a week and an in-person session once a month. This structure helps me balance study with family and work commitments.

建议: Be more direct and reduce filler sounds. Begin with the place name and give clear details: location, travel time, and frequency. Use linking words like 'however' or 'but' to connect contrasting points.

示例: I study with a university whose on-campus sessions are held in Harrisburg. However, about 90% of my learning is remote and I only travel to Harrisburg roughly once a month, which is about a two-hour drive from my home.

建议: Answer directly then expand with one or two specific reasons. Use linking words like 'but' or 'however' properly. Replace vague phrases ("hard for me to evaluate") with concise alternatives and give an example to support your opinion about professors.

示例: It's hard for me to judge the campus facilities because I'm mostly remote; however, I can say the teaching quality is excellent. For example, professors provide detailed feedback and industry-relevant case studies that help deepen our understanding.

建议: Reduce hesitation and correct grammar ("the one thing that comes to mind"; "I have a 10-month-old"). Be specific about the change and explain why it matters and how it would help. Keep to three sentences maximum.

示例: Yes, I would like the university to provide a supervised childcare room for students' children. I have a 10-month-old and when I attend in-person classes it's difficult to find safe childcare, so such a room would make attending classes much easier.

建议: Be concise and use a clearer future-looking phrase. Replace vague expressions with stronger, more natural language (e.g., "I don't have concrete plans right now; I will reassess after graduation"). Optionally mention possible areas you might consider to show thoughtfulness.

示例: I don't have concrete study plans at the moment; my priority is to complete my master's successfully. After graduation, I will reassess whether further study is necessary, perhaps in a specialized area like risk management or certifications relevant to project management.

× Currently Anna stood in.

✓ Currently Anna is standing in.

The original sentence uses past tense 'stood' which conflicts with 'Currently' and the present context. This is a sentence structure and tense issue. Use present progressive 'is standing' to indicate a current temporary state. Suggestion: use present continuous for ongoing actions (subject + be + -ing).

× I'm studying a Masters of Science in Project Management.

✓ I'm studying for a Master of Science in Project Management.

'Masters of Science' is incorrect form and missing preposition. The correct degree name is 'Master of Science' and we commonly say 'studying for a Master of Science' or 'studying a Master's in'. Use the singular possessive form or the exact degree title.

× I have classes online twice a week and I have to be in person once a month.

✓ I have classes online twice a week and I have to be in person once a month.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable; no correction needed. It correctly uses frequency expressions. No change required.

× This hybrid structure really helps me balance my study with other commitments.

✓ This hybrid structure really helps me balance my studies with other commitments.

'Study' as a noun meaning 'my academic work' is usually pluralized as 'studies' in this context. Use 'studies' to refer to the body of academic work.

× As I said, my course is structured in a hybrid way so 90% of the time I'm remote.

✓ As I said, my course is structured in a hybrid way so 90% of the time I'm remote.

This sentence is acceptable; 'remote' is used as an adjective indicating mode of attendance. No change needed.

× But uh, for this in person class I have to visit this place called Harrisburg which is approximately 2 hours drive from my house.

✓ But for this in-person class I have to visit a place called Harrisburg, which is approximately a two-hour drive from my house.

Use hyphen in compound adjective 'in-person'. 'This place' is better as 'a place' when introducing a location by name. Also '2 hours drive' should be 'a two-hour drive' — use singular 'hour' in a compound measurement with hyphens and include 'a'. Add a comma before the relative clause.

× Well, if you are talking about the physical environment of the university, it's hard for me to evaluate since I'm remote most of the time.

✓ Well, if you are talking about the physical environment of the university, it's hard for me to evaluate since I'm remote most of the time.

Sentence is acceptable; tense and structure match context. No correction needed.

× But talking about professors, they are highly knowledgeable and they know their subject really well.

✓ But talking about the professors, they are highly knowledgeable and know their subjects really well.

When referring to multiple professors, use plural 'professors' and plural possessive 'subjects'. Also it's redundant to repeat 'they' before the second verb; it's natural to say 'they are... and know...'. This fixes subject-verb and noun agreement.

× Oh definitely yes.

✓ Oh, definitely yes.

Add a comma after interjection for natural punctuation in speech transcription. The phrase itself is acceptable otherwise.

× The one thing that come in my mind is for the university to have a room, umm, for the kids who are accompanying the students.

✓ The one thing that comes to my mind is for the university to have a room for the children accompanying students.

Use 'comes' to agree with singular subject 'one thing' (subject-verb agreement). 'Kids' can be replaced with more formal 'children' and remove extra filler 'who are'. Also 'come in my mind' should be 'comes to my mind' (correct preposition).

× So for example, I have a 10 month old and when I have two boy in person, it's really hard for me to find a room for him.

✓ For example, I have a 10-month-old, and when I have to bring him to in-person classes, it's really hard for me to find a room for him.

Compound age must be hyphenated '10-month-old'. 'Two boy' is incorrect — likely speaker meant 'to be' or 'to be in person' but intended 'to be in person' is wrong; corrected to 'to bring him to in-person classes'. Also clarify subject 'him' refers to the child; ensure pronouns match. Use 'in-person' hyphenated as adjective.

× As of now, I do not have any future study plans.

✓ As of now, I do not have any future study plans.

Sentence is acceptable and appropriately uses present tense to describe current situation. No correction needed.

× My main focus is to successfully complete my master's program.

✓ My main focus is to successfully complete my master's program.

Sentence is correct; present tense 'is' plus infinitive expresses current goal. No correction needed.

× Maybe after a while from completing my program, I would sit down and think if I need to study more or not.

✓ Maybe some time after completing my program, I will sit down and think about whether I need to study more or not.

'After a while from completing' is unidiomatic; use 'some time after completing'. Conditional 'would' is unnecessary when referring to a likely future plan — use 'will'. Also use 'think about whether' instead of 'think if' for clarity.