学习— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence stating your status, then briefly add one or two supporting details (plans and timing). Avoid repetition and incorrect word forms (e.g., 'repairing' → 'preparing').

示例: I'm currently a recent university graduate enjoying my summer vacation. I'm preparing to continue my studies in another country next year, so I'm using this break to arrange applications and visas.

建议: Give a direct opening sentence with clear information, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Reduce fillers and repetitions.

示例: I study at a university in Anhui province. Although the city isn't well-known for tourism, it has beautiful scenery and plenty of local restaurants where you can try regional dishes.

建议: Answer directly and use clearer vocabulary. Mention specific qualities that make it good (quiet, dedicated students, qualified teachers) and avoid filler words and repetition. Use linking words like 'because' to explain reasons.

示例: Yes, it is a good place to study because the campus is quiet and well maintained. In addition, many motivated students and experienced teachers create a supportive academic atmosphere.

建议: Clarify what you mean and use specific problems and suggested improvements. Avoid unclear vocabulary; use precise words (e.g., 'dormitory', 'facilities', 'lighting', 'heating'). Keep it to one topic sentence plus 1–2 details with linking words.

示例: Yes. For example, the dormitories were in poor condition when I first arrived, so I would suggest renovating them and improving basic facilities such as heating and lighting.

建议: Give a clear plan in order: immediate next step, long-term goal, and a reason. Use linking words like 'first' and 'after that' and avoid repetition. Correct tense and phrasing: 'finish my studies' and 'find a job to support myself and my family.'

示例: First, I plan to continue my studies and complete a postgraduate degree. After I finish my studies, I will look for a job to support myself and help my family financially.

× I'm a student but I just graduated from the university this summer and now I enjoy my summer vacation.

✓ I'm a student, but I graduated from university this summer and am now enjoying my summer vacation.

The student used 'just graduated' which is acceptable, but the sequence is clearer with simple past 'graduated' because a specific time 'this summer' is mentioned. Also 'the university' is unnatural here; use 'university' or 'my university'. Combine clauses with a comma and use 'am now enjoying' to match present continuous for an ongoing action.

× I am repairing my next studying to to a different country.

✓ I am preparing to continue my studies in another country.

The original has wrong verb choice 'repairing' and repeated 'to'. 'Preparing to continue my studies' is correct collocation; use 'another country' instead of 'a different country' for natural phrasing. Also use plural 'studies'.

× I study in Anhui, it's a it's a normal university and the city is very beautiful but not a famous city.

✓ I study in Anhui; it's a normal university and the city is very beautiful but not a famous one.

Avoid repeating 'it's a it's a'. Use 'a normal university' (article correct) and replace 'not a famous city' with 'not a famous one' to avoid repetition and because 'city' was already mentioned. Use semicolon or separate sentences for clarity.

× There are there are few tourist attractions but there are many local food to eat.

✓ There are few tourist attractions, but there is a lot of local food to eat.

'Tourist attractions' is plural so 'there are' is correct; remove duplication. 'Local food' is uncountable, so use 'there is a lot of local food' or 'many local dishes' if countable. Also use a comma before 'but'.

× Yes, I think so. It's a good plus.

✓ Yes, I think so. It's a good place to study.

'Good plus' is incorrect collocation. Replace with 'good place to study' to answer the question about the place. Keep concise.

× It's not very, very noise and it's has many uh, it's a beautiful university and there are very, very, there are many study lovers and professional, uh, professional teachers.

✓ It's not very noisy, and it has many facilities. It's a beautiful university with many students who love studying and many professional teachers.

Use 'noisy' (adjective) not 'noise' (noun). Remove filler words. 'It has many facilities' clarifies 'it's has many'. 'Study lovers' is unnatural; use 'students who love studying' or 'dedicated students'. Ensure subject-verb agreement: 'it has'.

× Yes, when I came to the come to the campus, initially the the dormant, dormant is very bad, and the emers and the Huangjing.

✓ Yes. When I first came to campus, the dormitory conditions were very bad, and the amenities and facilities were poor.

The original repeats words and uses incorrect nouns: 'dormant' should be 'dormitory'. 'When I came to the come to the campus' is redundant; use 'when I first came to campus'. Use past tense 'were' for past condition. 'Emers' and 'Huangjing' are unclear; replace with 'amenities and facilities' for clarity unless specific terms are intended.

× OK in my future 1st I I'd love to continue my study and I finished the study. I will find a job to support my my living and my family.

✓ OK. In the future, firstly I would like to continue my studies and finish them. After that, I will find a job to support my living and my family.

Use 'would like to' for polite future intention. 'Continue my studies' (plural) is correct. 'I finished the study' mixes tenses; use 'finish them' (future) or 'finish my studies' to match plan. Remove duplicate 'my'. Use 'support my living' -> 'support myself and my family' for natural English.