学习— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and fluent: give a clear topic sentence, avoid hesitation sounds and repetition, correct articles and institution name, and keep within 2–3 sentences. Use one linking phrase if adding purpose.

示例: I'm currently a student enrolled in an English language program at a local institute called 'Rupee Islets.' The course focuses on improving my reading, writing, speaking and listening skills, so I can communicate better in English.

建议: Answer directly and complete the sentence: state the location clearly, use correct plural/singular forms and distances, and avoid trailing off. Add one brief supporting detail using a linking word.

示例: I study at a local institute about five kilometres from my home. It's in a building on the highway, so it's easy to reach by bus.

建议: Organize answer: start with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific supporting details using linking words (e.g., 'for example', 'also'). Avoid filler sounds and incomplete sentences.

示例: Yes, it's an excellent place to study because the environment is quiet, which helps me concentrate. For example, the institute provides computers and laptops for students, and the parking and restroom facilities are well maintained.

建议: Give a concise opinion with two specific, clearly worded suggestions. Avoid redundant phrases and fix grammar (remove 'though...but', use 'needs' not 'need to that'). Use linking words like 'also' or 'in addition'.

示例: The building is new, but I would suggest two improvements. First, they should increase parking spaces because it's often full; in addition, they should install drinking water dispensers in every classroom for convenience.

建议: State plans clearly and concisely: a topic sentence with timeline, then one or two specific details about the chosen field and reasons. Use natural phrases (e.g., 'enrol in', 'specialise in', 'advance my career'). Avoid repeated words.

示例: After finishing the English program, I plan to enrol at university to study nursing. I hope to specialise in cardiac care because it will advance my skills and open better career opportunities in healthcare.

× Nowadays, I'm a student, I'm learning a language program in my city.

✓ Nowadays, I'm a student; I'm enrolled in a language program in my city.

The original sentence uses 'learning a language program' which is unnatural English. Use 'enrolled in a language program' or 'attending a language program' to express current ongoing study. Also replace comma splice with a semicolon or separate sentences for clarity.

× Uh, it will, it is a English learning program in a institute named as a rupee islets, uh, in this institute to focus on reading, writing and speaking and listening.

✓ It is an English learning program at an institute called Rupee Islets that focuses on reading, writing, speaking, and listening.

Use 'an' before a vowel sound (English). Use 'at' for location with 'institute' and 'called' instead of 'named as'. 'Focuses' (third person singular) agrees with 'program'. Remove unnecessary words and correct word order.

× I study in a local institute which is 5 kilometer away from my house.

✓ I study at a local institute that is 5 kilometers away from my house.

Use 'at' with institutions. Use 'that' for restrictive clauses instead of 'which' in informal speech. Use plural 'kilometers' for distance greater than one and include 'away'.

× It is a building located on a highway and it.

✓ It is a building located on a highway.

The original ends with an incomplete clause 'and it.' Remove the fragment to make a complete sentence.

× On the other hand, there is other facilities to study uh like laptops and computers uh, as well as parking facilities are very good.

✓ On the other hand, there are other facilities for study, such as laptops and computers, and the parking facilities are very good.

Use 'there are' for plural 'facilities'. Use 'other' with plural nouns and 'for study' or 'to support studying'. Separate clauses with commas and connect ideas properly.

× Bathrooms are very neat and clean, which.

✓ The bathrooms are very neat and clean.

Remove the trailing 'which' fragment and add 'The' for specificity. 'Neat and clean' is acceptable; ensure sentence is complete.

× Though the building is very good and newly constructed, but there are still some changes they need to that need to be uh, first one.

✓ Although the building is very good and newly constructed, there are still some changes that need to be made.

Do not use both 'though'/'although' and 'but' together. Use 'Although' or 'Though' at the start and remove 'but'. Use 'changes that need to be made' for correct verb structure and remove redundancy.

× Most important one is the parking.

✓ The most important issue is parking.

Use 'the most important' with a noun; 'issue' fits better than 'one'. Alternatively: 'The most important thing is parking.'

× There should be more parking a place.

✓ There should be more parking space.

Use the compound noun 'parking space' rather than 'parking a place'. Omit unnecessary articles.

× On the other hand, the there should be uh, drinking water available in every classroom.

✓ Also, there should be drinking water available in every classroom.

Remove the extra 'the' and the filler 'uh'. Begin with 'Also' or 'In addition' for parallelism.

× After after completing my English learning program, I want to take admission in a university to expand my education in nursing.

✓ After completing my English learning program, I want to enroll in a university to continue my nursing education.

Remove duplicate 'after'. Use 'enroll in a university' or 'apply to a university' instead of 'take admission'. 'Continue my nursing education' is more natural than 'expand my education in nursing.'

× I want to take a cardiac care program which will help me to upliftment in my career and help me to learn advancement in healthcare.

✓ I want to take a cardiac care program, which will help advance my career and improve my knowledge in healthcare.

'Upliftment' and 'learn advancement' are incorrect collocations. Use 'help advance my career' and 'improve my knowledge' or 'enhance my skills' for clarity and natural phrasing. Remove extra 'to' before verbs.