学习— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 문장이 반복되고 불완전하며 발음·문법 실수가 있습니다. 명확한 주제문을 먼저 말하고, 그 이유나 목적을 한두 문장으로 간결하게 설명하세요. 불필요한 반복(예: "to to", "school school")을 피하고 문장을 완성하세요. 또한 자연스러운 표현(예: "I'm currently a student" / "I'm studying English to graduate")을 연습하세요.

示例: I'm currently a student. I'm studying English mainly to graduate from school and improve my chances of getting into a good university.

建议: 문장 구조와 어휘 사용에서 혼란이 보입니다. 현재 시제의 형태를 정확히 사용하고 불필요한 음성 채움(umm, MMM)을 줄이세요. 또한 어떤 학원인지, 어떤 수업을 듣는지 구체적으로 한두 가지로 설명하면 더 좋습니다.

示例: I study at a local English academy where I take group conversation classes and receive printed materials for practice.

建议: 의견 제시는 잘 했지만 발음·반복·문법(‘feedbacks’는 불가산명사)에서 실수가 있습니다. 연결어(예: 'because', 'so')를 자연스럽게 사용했으나 문장을 더 간결하게 다듬고 불필요한 반복을 줄이세요. 구체적 예시(어떤 피드백인지)를 추가하면 더 설득력 있습니다.

示例: In my opinion, the academy is a good place to study because many classmates speak English and teachers give quick feedback on pronunciation and grammar.

建议: 조건문 사용 의도는 좋지만 문장 표현과 어휘 선택이 부정확합니다('adapt the air con temperature' 대신 'adjust the air conditioning' 등). 예시 문장은 불완전합니다. 간단한 조건문과 이유, 그리고 구체적 개선 방안을 한두 문장으로 명확히 제시하세요.

示例: If I could change something, I would ask the academy to adjust the air conditioning because the classroom is often too cold during lessons.

建议: 목표는 명확하지만 반복과 발음·단어 선택 오류가 있습니다('prophecy' 대신 'pharmacy' 또는 'pharmacology'). 문장을 간결하게 하고 계획의 단계(예: 유학 후 전공 선택)를 논리적으로 연결하세요. 구체적인 이유나 관련 경험을 덧붙이면 좋습니다.

示例: I hope to study pharmacy because I'm interested in science and medicine. After studying abroad, I want to major in pharmacy and eventually work in pharmaceutical research.

× I'm a student right now. Nowadays I study English only to to get out of school school and this is my. Purpose right now.

✓ I'm a student right now. Nowadays I study English only to get out of school, and this is my purpose right now.

The sentence uses present simple correctly for habitual actions but has repetition and punctuation errors; 'to to' and repeated 'school' are typographical. Combine clauses with a comma and 'and' for clarity. Suggestion: remove duplicated words and join the clauses into one clear sentence.

× Recently I study at the English Academy to have a umm English lessons and have a have some prints. MMM.

✓ Recently I have been studying at the English academy to take English lessons and get some handouts.

Use present perfect continuous 'have been studying' for an action that started recently and continues. 'Have a English lessons' is incorrect: use 'take lessons' and 'handouts' instead of 'prints'. Also fix article and capitalisation: 'the English academy' or 'an English academy'.

× MMM In my opinion, the ACA, The Academy Is a good place to study because there are many people who speak English and I can get feedbacks faster. So I think it is a good place for study.

✓ In my opinion, the academy is a good place to study because there are many people who speak English and I can get feedback faster. So I think it is a good place to study.

'Feedback' is an uncountable noun and should not take an 's'. Capitalisation errors addressed and 'place for study' is unnatural; use 'place to study'. Also remove filler sounds like 'MMM' in formal responses.

× If I make any changes, I would like to adapt the air con temperature because sometimes I feel cold at the class. For example are in.

✓ If I could make any changes, I would adjust the air-conditioning temperature because sometimes I feel cold in class.

Use 'could' with hypothetical conditional and 'adjust' instead of 'adapt' for changing settings. 'Air con' should be 'air-conditioning' and 'at the class' should be 'in class'. Remove unclear fragment 'For example are in'.

× I hope to study pharmacy because I'm interested in science and medicine. For example, when uh after going abroad I would I would I want to major in prophecy.

✓ I hope to study pharmacy because I'm interested in science and medicine. For example, after going abroad I would like to major in pharmacy.

Phrase has repetition and wrong word 'prophecy' instead of 'pharmacy'. Use 'would like to' for polite future intention and remove filler words. Keep tense consistent: 'after going abroad' then 'I would like to major in pharmacy'.