学习— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Reduce hesitation and give a concise direct reply with a clear topic sentence, then add one short supporting detail. Avoid filler sounds (uh, um).

示例: I'm a university student in Tokyo, and I major in Japanese Studies. I chose this major because I'm fascinated by Japan's culture and language.

建议: Start with a clear topic sentence naming main study locations, then give 1–2 specific reasons. Limit to 3–4 short sentences and remove fillers. Use linking words like “also” or “however.”

示例: I usually study either on campus in classrooms with friends or at home in my own room. I also like studying in cafés because the background noise helps me concentrate.

建议: Answer directly and explain briefly why using coherent linking words. Replace vague expressions with concrete reasons (e.g., ‘background noise helps me focus’). Avoid repetition.

示例: Yes, cafés are good places for me because the low-level background noise helps me stay focused. Hearing others working motivates me to study more consistently.

建议: Provide a clear yes/no and explain with two concise examples of when you change places. Use linking words (for example, but, whereas) and correct grammar for clarity.

示例: Yes, I change my study location depending on the task. For individual work like reports I study at home to concentrate, but for group projects or presentations I stay on campus to discuss ideas with classmates.

建议: Begin with a clear topic sentence about your future plans, then give 1–2 specific actions (e.g., research, travel, exchange programs). Pronounce country names correctly and avoid repetition. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

示例: I plan to continue researching cultural similarities and differences between Japan and other countries. For example, I want to do exchange programs or field research in places like China, Germany and Finland to compare traditions and social behaviors.

× I'm a student and my uh, uh, I'm in a university in Tokyo and my major is Japanese studies.

✓ I'm a student. I'm attending a university in Tokyo, and my major is Japanese Studies.

Use of articles and sentence flow: 'in a university' is acceptable but 'attending a university' sounds more natural; capitalise proper noun 'Japanese Studies'. Also sentence run-on was split for clarity. Suggestion: split long utterances into shorter sentences and capitalise proper nouns.

× Umm again, I'm a college student now.

✓ Umm, I'm currently a college student.

Redundant words and colloquial fillers disrupt sentence structure. 'Again' is unnecessary; use 'currently' for present status. Keep sentences concise.

× So basically I study at my university campus using some classrooms with my friends or UMM.

✓ So basically I study on my university campus in classrooms with my friends.

Preposition: 'on campus' is correct rather than 'at my university campus' though both can work; 'using some classrooms' is unnatural—use 'in classrooms'. Remove filler 'UMM'. Suggestion: use correct preposition and natural noun phrases.

× When I do my assignments, I use my own room in my house or I also like to go Cafe for my study.

✓ When I do my assignments, I use my own room at home or I also like to go to a cafe to study.

Prepositions: 'in my house' -> 'at home' is more natural; 'go Cafe' should be 'go to a cafe'; 'for my study' -> 'to study' corrects verb infinitive use. Also article 'a cafe' required.

× Yeah, 'cause like I, I feel really comfortable when I hear like living sounds so I can hit the books there.

✓ Yeah, because I feel really comfortable when I hear ambient sounds, so I can focus on studying there.

Colloquial fillers ('like', repeated 'I') and 'living sounds' is unclear—'ambient sounds' or 'background noise' is better. 'Hit the books' is informal; 'focus on studying' is clearer for test context.

× Is it a good place to study?

✓ Is it a good place to study?

This sentence is correct; no grammatical change needed. No error.

× Yeah, they are really good places and especially umm, my present trend is studying at cafeteria or like some cafe outside of my university because I, I feel comfortable, uh, with some background sounds or noise.

✓ Yes, they are really good places. Lately I prefer studying in the cafeteria or in cafes outside my university because I feel comfortable with some background noise.

Pronoun 'they' refers to plural 'places' but sentence was awkward; 'present trend' is unnatural—use 'lately I prefer'. Prepositions: 'at cafeteria' -> 'in the cafeteria'; remove fillers and smooth sentence structure.

× Because umm, when I hear that kind of sounds, I feel I, I am seeing from others so I, I can think like I have to study.

✓ Because when I hear that kind of sound, I feel motivated by others, so I think I have to study.

Countable noun: 'sounds' -> 'sound' or 'kinds of sounds'; more natural phrasing: 'motivated by others'. Remove hesitations and redundant pronouns. Clarify intended meaning.

× Yeah, I often change the places for studying a lot, and that changes depend on what I study at the moment.

✓ Yes, I often change the places where I study, and those changes depend on what I am studying at the moment.

'Change the places for studying a lot' is awkward—use 'change the places where I study'. Agreement: 'that changes' -> 'those changes' to match plural. Tense: 'what I study' -> 'what I am studying' for current activity.

× For example, when I do report assignments, I'd like to focus on my ideas, like brainstorm by myself.

✓ For example, when I do written reports, I'd like to focus on my ideas and brainstorm by myself.

Noun choice: 'report assignments' -> 'written reports' or 'reports'. 'Brainstorm' as a verb is fine but needs conjunction 'and' to connect actions. Use gerund correctly.

× So I leave university and do the homework at home.

✓ So I leave the university and do the homework at home.

Article: include 'the' before 'university' when referring to the specific institution. Otherwise sentence is acceptable.

× But when I need some unique opinions from my classmates or like presentation.

✓ But when I need some unique opinions from my classmates or help with a presentation,

Sentence fragment: original is incomplete. Add 'help with' and finish clause to make it a complete sentence. Ensure parallel structure.

× Are there are cafeteria at on campus and make up new strategies for the presentation?

✓ I can go to the cafeteria on campus and come up with new strategies for the presentation.

The original was ungrammatical: 'Are there are' is incorrect. Use 'I can go to the cafeteria on campus' (article 'the' with cafeteria) and 'come up with' for 'make up' in this context. Correct word order and verb forms.

× For well firstly the reason why I chose my major Japan studies was that I was really eager to know how different Japan and other countries cultures were.

✓ Firstly, the reason I chose my major, Japanese Studies, was that I was really eager to learn how Japanese culture differs from other countries' cultures.

Word order and noun forms: 'Japan studies' -> 'Japanese Studies' as major; 'how different Japan and other countries cultures were' is awkward—use 'how Japanese culture differs from other countries' cultures'. Also use 'learn' instead of 'know' for studying.

× So I think I'll keep in keep working on that topic like visiting other countries such as China, Germany, Umm Fei, Finland.

✓ So I think I'll keep working on that topic by visiting other countries such as China, Germany, Fiji, and Finland.

Redundancy 'keep in keep' -> 'keep'. Preposition: 'by visiting' indicates method. 'Umm Fei' is unclear; likely 'Fiji'. Ensure correct country names and list format.

× Or some other countries, and then I'll find both common points and unique points of each country.

✓ I may visit some other countries, and then I'll find both commonalities and unique aspects of each country.

Conjunction and phrasing: 'Or some other countries' is a fragment—integrate into sentence. Use 'commonalities' and 'unique aspects' for clearer academic phrasing.