机会— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Your answer is direct and includes a specific example, but “in addition besides” is redundant and should be replaced with “as well as” or “in addition to.” Also, check whether “ballad” is the intended word; if you mean the dance, it should be “ballet.” Explain briefly what you learned from these courses so that your answer is more developed and effective.

示例: Yes, absolutely. When I was a child, I took several different courses, including ballet and art. I studied ballet for about fifteen years, and I also enjoyed drawing and painting. These activities helped me become more creative and disciplined.

建议: Your main idea and reasons are clear, but “new different activities” is unnatural; use “new activities” or “different activities.” The answer is incomplete because it ends with “For example, trying,” so you need to finish the example. Use a linking phrase such as “For example” followed by a complete, specific situation, and briefly explain its result.

示例: Yes, definitely. People should try different activities because new experiences help them gain confidence and develop useful skills. For example, someone who joins a public-speaking club may initially feel nervous, but regular practice can make them more confident. Trying new things can also help people discover interests they did not know they had.

× For instance, I attended the ballad course for fifteen years in addition besides an art course.

✓ For instance, I attended the ballad course for fifteen years in addition to an art course.

In addition and besides cannot be used together in this structure. Use in addition to before a noun phrase, or use besides alone. For example: I attended a ballad course in addition to an art course.

× For example trying

✓ For example, trying new activities can help people gain confidence.

For example, trying is only a sentence fragment because it does not contain a complete independent clause. Add a subject and a main verb to express a complete idea. Also, use a comma after For example.