机会— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Answer the question directly and use more natural collocations. Say “many opportunities” rather than “plenty of opportunity,” “as a child” rather than “as a side,” and “drama club” rather than “drama cup.” Avoid repeated words and unclear phrases such as “I feel sad”; use “I felt nervous” or “I lacked confidence.” Organize the answer with a clear topic sentence followed by one specific example.

示例: Yes, I had several opportunities to try new activities as a child, but I often turned them down because I lacked confidence. For example, I was invited to join a drama club at school, but I felt nervous about performing in front of other people. Looking back, I wish I had accepted the opportunity because it would have helped me become more confident.

建议: Your opinion and main reason are clear, but some expressions are grammatically inaccurate or too vague. Use “try a lot of things,” “it helps us in different areas of life,” and “we can do something we enjoy” instead of “whatever you want to enjoy ourself.” Keep the subject consistent by using “people” or “we” throughout. Add one concrete example, such as learning a sport or musical instrument, and use linking words like “for instance” and “as a result.”

示例: Yes, I think people should try as many different things as possible because new experiences can make them more creative and adaptable. For instance, learning a sport, playing an instrument, or joining a volunteer group can help people develop different skills. In addition, having a variety of hobbies gives us something enjoyable to do when we feel stressed. As a result, we can learn more about ourselves and become more confident.

× I had plenty of opportunity as a child, but I missed every opportunity due to my lack of confidence.

✓ I had plenty of opportunities as a child, but I missed every opportunity due to my lack of confidence.

The quantifier plenty of is used with a plural countable noun. Therefore, opportunity should be opportunities.

× For example, during my childhood I had a special offer to join the drama club, but as I feel afraid to perform drama in front of people, I missed the opportunity.

✓ For example, during my childhood I had a special offer to join the drama club, but as I felt afraid to perform drama in front of people, I missed the opportunity.

The sentence describes an experience during childhood, so the past tense is required. Feel should be changed to felt.

× For example, when we try lot of things in our life, it helps us in every part of life.

✓ For example, when we try a lot of things in our lives, it helps us in every part of life.

The expression a lot of requires the article a. The phrase lot of things is incomplete.

× For example, when we try a lot of things in our lives, it helps us to every part of the life.

✓ For example, when we try a lot of things in our lives, it helps us in every part of life.

The verb help is followed by the preposition in when referring to assistance in an area or aspect. Therefore, helps us to every part should be changed to helps us in every part.

× For example, when we try a lot of things in our lives, it helps us in every part of the life.

✓ For example, when we try a lot of things in our lives, it helps us in every part of life.

Life is used here in a general sense, so it does not need the definite article the.

× Whenever we feel low, we can do whatever you want to enjoy ourselves and learn new things.

✓ Whenever we feel low, we can do whatever we want to enjoy ourselves and learn new things.

The subject of the sentence is we, so the pronoun in the clause should also be we, not you.

× Whenever we feel low, we can do whatever we want to enjoy ourself and learn new things.

✓ Whenever we feel low, we can do whatever we want to enjoy ourselves and learn new things.

The reflexive pronoun must agree with the plural subject we. The correct form is ourselves, not ourself.