机会— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 과거의 경험에 대한 질문이므로 현재완료(have)를 과거형(had)으로 수정해야 합니다. 또한 opportunity와 activity는 여러 개이므로 각각 opportunities와 activities로 사용하고, “an outgoing child”처럼 관사를 넣어야 합니다. 답변의 핵심은 분명하지만, “So”를 반복하기보다 “Because”와 “As a result” 같은 연결어를 사용하면 더 자연스럽습니다. 어떤 활동을 했는지 구체적인 예를 한 가지 제시하고, 그 활동이 왜 흥미로웠는지 설명하면 내용과 어휘 점수를 높일 수 있습니다.

示例: Yes, I had several opportunities to try new activities as a child. I was an outgoing child, and my parents encouraged me to explore different hobbies. For example, I took swimming and tennis lessons at a local sports center. I really enjoyed them because I learned new skills and made friends.

建议: “try to different thing”은 “try different things”로, “competent”는 이 문맥에서 자신감을 의미하므로 “confident” 또는 “improve their confidence”로 수정해야 합니다. 질문에 대한 직접적인 의견을 먼저 제시한 뒤, 이유와 개인적인 예시를 논리적으로 연결하세요. “for example” 뒤에는 완전한 문장을 사용하고, 마지막의 반복적인 표현과 “umm”은 삭제하는 것이 좋습니다. 다양한 경험이 어떻게 자신감을 향상시켰는지, 예를 들어 어떤 활동을 시작했고 어떤 변화가 있었는지 구체적으로 설명하면 더 효과적인 답변이 됩니다.

示例: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities because new experiences can build their confidence and broaden their perspectives. For example, I used to be quite shy, but I became more confident after joining a sports club and speaking with new people. As a result, I now feel more comfortable in unfamiliar situations.

× I have many opportunity to take part in several activity in my childhood.

✓ I had many opportunities to take part in several activities in my childhood.

The quantifier many must be followed by plural countable nouns. Therefore, opportunity becomes opportunities and activity becomes activities.

× I have many opportunity to take part in several activity in my childhood.

✓ I had many opportunities to take part in several activities in my childhood.

The question asks about childhood, which is a finished period in the past. Therefore, use the past-tense verb had instead of the present-tense form have.

× I was very outgoing child so I want many things to learn about and parents encouraged me.

✓ I was a very outgoing child, so I wanted to learn about many things, and my parents encouraged me.

A singular countable noun such as child needs an article. Use a before very outgoing child.

× I was very outgoing child so I want many things to learn about and parents encouraged me.

✓ I was a very outgoing child, so I wanted to learn about many things, and my parents encouraged me.

The speaker is describing childhood, so want should be changed to the past-tense form wanted.

× I was very outgoing child so I want many things to learn about and parents encouraged me.

✓ I was a very outgoing child, so I wanted to learn about many things, and my parents encouraged me.

The conjunctions should clearly connect the cause and the two related actions. Use so to show the result and and to connect the second independent clause.

× So I go Sports Center and learn many things and it was very interesting.

✓ So I went to a sports center, learned many things, and found it very interesting.

The speaker is talking about past childhood experiences, so go and learn must be changed to the past-tense forms went and learned.

× So I go Sports Center and learn many things and it was very interesting.

✓ So I went to a sports center, learned many things, and found it very interesting.

Use the preposition to after went when describing movement toward a place: went to a sports center.

× So I go Sports Center and learn many things and it was very interesting.

✓ So I went to a sports center, learned many things, and found it very interesting.

Sports center is a singular countable noun, so it needs an article. Use a because the speaker is mentioning one sports center for the first time.

× Yes I think many people should try to different thing because it can improve self esteem and competent.

✓ Yes, I think many people should try different things because doing so can improve their self-esteem and competence.

After the modal verb should, use the base form of the verb without to. Therefore, try to different thing must be changed to try different things.

× Yes I think many people should try to different thing because it can improve self esteem and competent.

✓ Yes, I think many people should try different things because doing so can improve their self-esteem and competence.

The word many requires a plural countable noun, so thing must become things.

× Yes I think many people should try to different thing because it can improve self esteem and competent.

✓ Yes, I think many people should try different things because doing so can improve their self-esteem and competence.

Competent is an adjective, but the sentence needs a noun parallel to self-esteem. Use competence to describe the quality of being competent.

× For example for me I was very shy but I get very competent person through the many thing it was very.

✓ For example, I was very shy, but I became a very competent person by trying many things.

The speaker is describing a change that happened in the past, so get should be changed to the past-tense form became.

× For example for me I was very shy but I get very competent person through the many thing it was very.

✓ For example, I was very shy, but I became a very competent person by trying many things.

Person is a singular countable noun, so it needs an article. Use a before very competent person.

× For example for me I was very shy but I get very competent person through the many thing it was very.

✓ For example, I was very shy, but I became a very competent person by trying many things.

The phrase many requires the plural noun things. The singular form thing is incorrect in this context.

× For example for me I was very shy but I get very competent person through the many thing it was very.

✓ For example, I was very shy, but I became a very competent person by trying many things.

The original sentence is incomplete and contains an unclear final clause, it was very. Organize the ideas into one complete sentence with a clear subject, verb, and meaning.