机会— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 回答方向是正确的，但表达中有较多停顿、重复和语法错误。首先直接说明参加过哪些活动；其次用完整句子描述活动，例如用“drawing pictures on the blackboard”和“speaking in front of the class”，而不是“draw some pictures in the blackboard”或不完整的“speaking on the”。可以补充一个具体场景或感受，并使用“for example”连接细节。建议控制在2—3句话内，避免重复“blackboard”。

示例: Yes, I had several opportunities to try new activities at school. For example, I drew pictures on the blackboard and gave short speeches in front of my classmates. I enjoyed these activities because they helped me become more confident.

建议: 观点明确，但句子结构和词汇使用不自然，导致意思不清楚。“try one more different scenes”和“module scenes”都不是合适的表达。建议先直接回答“Yes, I think people should try different things”，然后给出一个清晰理由，例如可以发现兴趣、积累经验或学习新的方法。使用“because”“As a result”等连接词，并提供具体例子；避免频繁使用“uh”和重复表达“get success”，可改为“achieve success”或“make progress”。

示例: Yes, I think people should try as many different things as possible. By doing so, they can discover their interests and learn useful skills. For example, someone who tries different sports may find a talent they never knew they had.

× Yes, I had uh, some opportunities to take part in new activities, umm, such as, uh, draw some pictures in the blackboard, on the black on the blackboard or speaking on the.

✓ Yes, I had some opportunities to take part in new activities, such as drawing some pictures on the blackboard or speaking on stage.

在“such as”后面列举活动时，两个动词应保持形式平行。原句中使用了“speaking”，所以“draw”也应改为“drawing”。建议列举多个活动时使用相同的结构，例如“such as doing A or doing B”。

× Yes, I had uh, some opportunities to take part in new activities, umm, such as, uh, draw some pictures in the blackboard, on the black on the blackboard or speaking on the.

✓ Yes, I had some opportunities to take part in new activities, such as drawing some pictures on the blackboard or speaking on stage.

表示在黑板的表面上画画，应使用介词“on”，不能使用“in”。另外，表示在台上演讲时，通常说“speak on stage”。建议记住固定搭配：“write/draw on the blackboard”和“speak on stage”。

× In my opinion I must say yes, try one more different scenes.

✓ In my opinion, I must say yes. People should try one more different activity.

“one more”表示“再一个”，后面必须接单数可数名词，因此“scenes”应改为单数形式。如果想表达“更多不同的活动”，也可以说“People should try many more different activities.”

× You can the module scenes and uh and uh get uh new methods to get the success.

✓ They can explore different activities and find new ways to achieve success.

情态动词“can”后面必须接动词原形。原句中“can”后面缺少动词，因此句子结构不完整。应使用“can explore”或“can try”等结构。注意主语应与问题中的“people”保持一致，因此使用“They”更合适。

× You can the module scenes and uh and uh get uh new methods to get the success.

✓ They can explore different activities and find new ways to achieve success.

“success”在这里表示抽象概念，通常作为不可数名词使用，不需要加定冠词“the”。应说“achieve success”，而不是“get the success”。建议在表达抽象概念时，先判断该名词是否需要特指；一般概念通常不加“the”。

× You can the module scenes and uh and uh get uh new methods to get the success.

✓ They can explore different activities and find new ways to achieve success.

原句中“can”后缺少谓语动词，且多个成分连接不完整，导致句子结构错误。完整结构应为“主语 + 情态动词 + 动词原形 + 其他成分”，例如“They can explore different activities and find new ways to achieve success.”