机会— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Start with a more natural phrase: “When I was a child.” Avoid repeating “Also”; use a linking word such as “In addition” or “Moreover.” You should also say “my family didn’t encourage me to join activities,” because “encourage” needs an object before the infinitive. The answer is relevant and logically developed, but you could add one specific example of an activity you did not try.

示例: When I was a child, I had very few opportunities to try new activities. I was quite shy, and my family didn’t really encourage me to join clubs or classes. In addition, my school offered only a small number of extracurricular activities. For example, I never had the chance to learn a musical instrument or play on a sports team.

建议: Your opinion and reason are clear, but correct several grammar and word-choice problems: say “gain experience,” “discover new interests,” “taking a short course,” and “can help someone develop useful skills and broaden their horizons.” Avoid the vague and incomplete phrase “broaden,” and remove the unnecessary ending “Yeah.” You could make the answer more effective by adding a specific result, such as becoming more confident or finding a suitable career interest.

示例: Yes, I think people should try as many different things as possible because new experiences help them gain confidence and discover their interests. For example, joining a club or taking a short course can help someone develop useful skills and broaden their horizons. It may even help them find a hobby or career path that suits them. However, they should focus on activities that genuinely interest them rather than trying everything without purpose.

× When I was child, I was quite shy so I rarely tried new things.

✓ When I was a child, I was quite shy, so I rarely tried new things.

The singular countable noun child requires an article. Use a before child because the sentence refers to one child. A comma before so also improves readability, but the main grammar error is the missing article.

× Also my family didn't encourage to join any activities.

✓ Also, my family didn't encourage me to join any activities.

The verb encourage normally needs an object when it means persuading a person to do something. Use the object pronoun me before to join: encourage me to join.

× Yes, I think people should try as many things as possible because experimenting with new activities helps them get experience and discover new interest.

✓ Yes, I think people should try as many things as possible because experimenting with new activities helps them get experience and discover new interests.

The adjective new describes interest, which is a countable noun in this context. Because people may discover more than one interest, use the plural form interests.

× For example, joining a club or taking short course can have someone develop useful skills and broaden.

✓ For example, joining a club or taking a short course can help someone develop useful skills and broaden their horizons.

The singular countable noun course requires an article, so use a short course. The phrase have someone develop is grammatically possible but unnatural here; help someone develop is more natural. Broaden normally needs an object, so broaden their horizons completes the sentence.