机会— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 回答の内容は質問に合っていますが、文のつながりが不自然で、最後の部分が未完成です。「teermony」は「tea ceremony」、「take a lesson」は「take tea ceremony lessons」のように言いましょう。また、「My mother suggested I should go with my mother」は重複しているため、「My mother encouraged me to try it」に簡潔にします。最後に、現在も続けているかどうかを明確に述べ、because や since then などの linking words を使って、3〜4文でまとめると効果的です。

示例: Yes, I had the opportunity to take tea ceremony lessons when I was a child. My mother encouraged me to try them, and I soon became interested in the peaceful atmosphere of preparing matcha. Since then, I have continued attending lessons because I find the experience very calming.

建议: 自分の意見と理由を示せている点は良いですが、「Every time when」は「Whenever」または「Every time I」にし、「aflied up」は文脈上「afraid of」と考えられます。「afraid of beginning new skills」ではなく、「afraid of trying new activities」と表現しましょう。また、「It's rich to have like new hidden skills」は不自然なので、「Trying new things can help people discover hidden talents」のように言い換えます。最後に、具体例を1つ加えると、内容の説得力と語彙の評価が高まります。

示例: Yes, I completely agree that people should try as many different things as they can. Whenever I try something new, I have a chance to develop unexpected skills and discover hidden talents. Although some people are afraid of making mistakes, new activities can help them become more confident. For example, learning a musical instrument may improve both their creativity and concentration.

× So and I still know I attend.

✓ And I still attend.

The original sentence contains unnecessary words and does not form a clear grammatical structure. Use a simple subject-and-verb structure: I still attend. Do not use so and and together here.

× And especially earlier like calm atmosphere when I make matcha.

✓ I especially liked the calm atmosphere when I made matcha.

Because the speaker is describing a childhood experience, the past tense liked and made is more appropriate. The original sentence also needs a subject and a main verb.

× Every time when I start something new, I gain unexpected skills or talents.

✓ Every time I start something new, I gain unexpected skills or talents.

Every time already functions as a time conjunction, so when is unnecessary. Use either every time I start or when I start, but not every time when.

× Although many people tend to be aflied up beginning new skills.

✓ Although many people tend to be afraid of starting new activities.

The correct adjective is afraid, and it is followed by the preposition of. The expression is afraid of starting something, not afraid up beginning something.

× Although many people tend to be afraid of starting new activities.

✓ Although many people tend to be afraid of starting new activities, trying new things can help them discover their abilities.

An although-clause cannot normally stand alone as a complete sentence. It must be connected to an independent clause. Adding trying new things can help them discover their abilities completes the sentence.

× It's rich to have like new hidden skills.

✓ It is rewarding to discover new skills and abilities.

Rich is not the natural adjective for describing the positive experience of discovering abilities, and like is unnecessary in this sentence. Rewarding clearly expresses the intended meaning.