机会— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Answer more fluently and organize your ideas into a clear topic sentence followed by specific details. Avoid hesitations such as “uh” and incomplete phrases like “we at home.” Use accurate structures such as “My friends and I used to play” and connect the examples with “also” or “besides.”

示例: Yes, I had several opportunities to try new activities. For example, I auditioned for a dance troupe in high school, although I did not join in the end. Besides that, my friends and I used to play outdoor games together until it got dark.

建议: Give a direct opinion and then explain it with grammatically accurate reasons. Correct “many thing different things” to “as many different things as they can” and replace “as they get” with “because” or “as they grow.” Also, use the plural form “people” with “more capable” or say “a more capable person” when referring to one individual.

示例: Yes, I think people should try as many different things as they can. This is because new experiences help us discover our interests and learn useful skills. As a result, we can become more confident and capable, even if some activities do not suit us.

× I tried to join a dance troupe when I was in high school and, uh, we at home, me and my friends used to, Yeah, to play games until, uh, dark.

✓ I tried to join a dance troupe when I was in high school, and my friends and I used to play games at home until dark.

The original sentence contains an interrupted and disorganized structure. The ideas should be connected in a clear subject–verb–object order: subject (my friends and I), verb phrase (used to play), and object (games).

× me and my friends

✓ my friends and I

When a pronoun is part of the subject, use the subject pronoun I, not the object pronoun me. In addition, it is standard to mention other people before yourself: my friends and I.

× people should try many thing different things

✓ people should try many different things

The noun thing must be plural because it follows many. The repeated phrase many thing different things should be reduced to the correct plural phrase many different things.

× many thing different things

✓ many different things

The adjective different should come directly before the plural noun things. The original phrase also contains an unnecessary repeated noun phrase.

× because we can learn from those experiences and grow as a more capable person

✓ because they can learn from those experiences and grow into more capable people

The subject changes from people and they to we, which creates an inconsistent point of view. Use they throughout the sentence. Because people is plural, use the plural expression more capable people rather than the singular a more capable person.

× as they get

✓ as many different things as they can

The phrase as they get is incomplete and does not express the intended meaning. The correct comparison structure is as many things as they can, meaning the greatest possible number of things.