机会— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Rispondi direttamente con una frase introduttiva chiara, poi seleziona due o tre attività e spiega brevemente perché erano importanti o che cosa hai imparato. Evita di elencare troppe attività senza svilupparle e non terminare con “And I don't know”. Usa la forma corretta “I had opportunities to play” invece di “opportunities like play”. Inoltre, pronuncia e scegli con attenzione i nomi delle attività, per esempio “taekwondo” e “tennis”.

示例: Yes, I had several opportunities to try new activities as a child. For example, I learned to play the piano and violin, and I also tried tennis and taekwondo. I especially enjoyed playing musical instruments because they helped me become more creative and disciplined.

建议: Esprimi prima chiaramente la tua opinione e poi presenta una ragione sviluppata con un esempio concreto. Evita ripetizioni, autocorrezioni e frasi troppo lunghe come “because if you because”. L’idea del confronto tra persone non è espressa chiaramente: spiegala dicendo che provare attività diverse aiuta a scoprire i propri interessi e a sviluppare competenze. Usa collegamenti semplici come “because”, “for example” e “as a result”.

示例: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities. Doing so helps them discover their interests and develop different skills. For example, someone who tries sports, music, and volunteering may find a talent or passion they did not know they had. As a result, they can make more informed choices about their future.

× I had some opportunities like play guitar.

✓ I had some opportunities, such as playing the guitar.

After like or such as, use a gerund ending in -ing when you name an activity. Therefore, play becomes playing.

× play guitar ... played violin

✓ play the guitar ... played the violin

When referring to musical instruments after play, English normally uses the definite article the, as in play the guitar and play the violin.

× another person who just played video games

✓ another person who just played video games

No preposition is required before video games in this expression. The original phrase is grammatically acceptable in this respect; however, the verb tense should be changed to plays when describing a general habit.

× one person started every day ... and another person who just played video games

✓ one person practices every day ... and another person who just plays video games

The question asks about people in general, so use the present simple. Practices and plays describe regular habits. The past forms started and played do not fit this general meaning.

× we can't compare to a person who ... another person ... you can't compare this to the person

✓ We cannot compare a person who practices every day for personal development with someone who only plays video games.

With compare, identify both things being compared. Use the structure compare A with B or compare A to B. The original sentence leaves the first comparison object incomplete and uses this and the person unclearly.

× Yes, I think so because if you because we can't compare to a person who So one person started every day for for his personal culture and another person who just played video games you can't compare this to the person.

✓ Yes, I think so, because you cannot compare a person who practices every day for personal development with someone who only plays video games.

The original sentence contains repeated conjunctions, unfinished clauses, and several interruptions, which make the sentence structure unclear. Use one complete because-clause with a clear subject, verb, and comparison.