机会— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Answer the question directly at the beginning by saying whether you had opportunities or not. Avoid repeated expressions such as “back then,” “opportunity,” and “I really.” Use natural phrases like “I was a cautious child,” “try new activities,” and “my family could not afford many extracurricular activities.” Also, replace the unclear phrase “my family wasn't that bright” with a more accurate expression, such as “my family did not have much money” or “my family was quite conservative.” Add one specific example of an activity you tried independently.

示例: Not really. I was quite a cautious child, and my family could not afford many extracurricular activities. However, I tried to explore new interests by myself, such as drawing and reading science books. These activities helped me become more curious and independent.

建议: Give a clear opinion in the first sentence and then explain it with a specific reason or example. Avoid repetition between “try new things” and “try different sorts of things.” Use natural vocabulary such as “broaden their horizons,” “develop new skills,” and “gain valuable experience” instead of “expand their brain” and “a whole new and big experiences.” Make sure nouns and adjectives agree grammatically: say “a whole new experience” or “many new experiences.”

示例: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities, although they should not overwhelm themselves. Trying new things can broaden their horizons and help them discover their interests and abilities. For example, someone who joins a sports club may develop teamwork skills and make new friends. As a result, they can become more confident and adaptable.

× As a child, back then when I was young, I used to be very careful child and try to look in new things, but back then my family wasn't that bright so there wasn't that much big opportunity opportunity to get me new things.

✓ As a child, back then when I was young, I used to be a very careful child and try to look in new things, but back then my family wasn't that bright, so there wasn't that much big opportunity to get me new things.

The singular countable noun child needs the indefinite article a. We say a child, not careful child.

× As a child, back then when I was young, I used to be very careful child and try to look in new things, but back then my family wasn't that bright so there wasn't that much big opportunity opportunity to get me new things.

✓ As a child, back then when I was young, I used to be a very careful child and try to look into new things, but back then my family wasn't that bright, so there wasn't that much big opportunity to get me new things.

The correct preposition after look when meaning examine or investigate something is into. Look in usually means search inside a place or container.

× As a child, back then when I was young, I used to be very careful child and try to look in new things, but back then my family wasn't that bright so there wasn't that much big opportunity opportunity to get me new things.

✓ As a child, back then when I was young, I used to be a very careful child and try to look into new things, but back then my family wasn't that bright, so there weren't many opportunities for me to try new things.

Opportunities are countable plural nouns, so many is more appropriate than much. Use many with plural countable nouns and much with uncountable nouns.

× As a child, back then when I was young, I used to be very careful child and try to look in new things, but back then my family wasn't that bright so there wasn't that much big opportunity opportunity to get me new things.

✓ As a child, back then when I was young, I used to be a very careful child and try to look into new things, but back then my family wasn't that bright, so there weren't many opportunities for me to try new things.

The meaning refers to more than one opportunity, so opportunity should be plural: opportunities. The plural subject also requires there weren't rather than there wasn't.

× But I really I really tried to get a new things by myself.

✓ But I really, really tried to get new things by myself.

A cannot be used before a plural noun. Because things is plural, remove a and use new things.

× But I really I really tried to get a new things by myself.

✓ But I really, really tried to get new things by myself.

Things is a plural noun, so it cannot be used with the singular article a. Use either a new thing or new things.

× Of course it's better if they try different sort of things.

✓ Of course, it's better if they try different sorts of things.

When different refers to more than one category, sort should normally be plural: different sorts of things.

× It expands their brain and it will be a whole new and big experiences for them.

✓ It expands their minds and gives them completely new experiences.

The answer describes a general benefit, so the present tense should be used consistently. Use gives instead of will be. Also, experiences is plural, so it cannot follow the singular article a.

× It expands their brain and it will be a whole new and big experiences for them.

✓ It expands their minds and gives them completely new experiences.

Experiences is plural, so it cannot be used with the singular article a. The phrase should be new experiences, not a ... experiences.