机会— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Your answer is relevant, well organized, and includes specific details about the activity, your motivation, and what you learned. However, improve grammatical accuracy and natural word choice: say “public clean-up,” “in the streets and parks,” “I wanted,” and “small actions.” Also, avoid using “where” after “program”; use “which.”

示例: Yes, I did. I joined a school program that organized public clean-ups, during which we collected rubbish from streets and parks. I wanted to raise awareness of littering and help protect the environment. The experience taught me that even small actions can make a big difference.

建议: You give a clear opinion and explain that new experiences help people grow, but the answer contains several grammatical errors and repeated ideas. Use correct conditional forms, such as “if they don’t try, they will remain,” and say “whether they succeed or fail.” Replace “stay at the same place forever” with the more natural “remain stuck in the same routine,” and organize the response into a direct opinion, a reason, and a result.

示例: Yes, I think people should try different things whenever possible. If they never take risks, they may remain stuck in the same routine and miss valuable opportunities. Even if they fail, they can learn from the experience and become more confident. As a result, trying new activities can help people grow personally and discover their interests.

× I joined the school program that organized public cleanse up and where we collected rubbish at the streets and parks.

✓ I joined the school program that organized public clean-up activities and where we collected rubbish at the streets and parks.

Clean-up activities are countable activities, so the plural form is appropriate here. Also, clean-up is used as a noun modifier in this expression.

× I joined the school program that organized public cleanse up and where we collected rubbish at the streets and parks.

✓ I joined the school program that organized public clean-up activities and where we collected rubbish in the streets and parks.

Use in rather than at when referring to rubbish collected within streets and parks. A useful improvement is to learn common preposition combinations, such as in the street, in the park, and at school.

× I took part in this activity because I want to raise community awareness about littering and help protect the environment, and the experience taught me how small action can make a big difference.

✓ I took part in this activity because I wanted to raise community awareness about littering and help protect the environment, and the experience taught me how even a small action can make a big difference.

The experience happened in the past, so want should be changed to wanted. When describing past reasons or motivations, keep the verb tense consistent with the past context.

× I took part in this activity because I want to raise community awareness about littering and help protect the environment, and the experience taught me how small action can make a big difference.

✓ I took part in this activity because I wanted to raise community awareness about littering and help protect the environment, and the experience taught me how even a small action can make a big difference.

The singular countable noun action needs a determiner. The phrase a small action is grammatically complete because a is used before a singular countable noun.

× I think that people should try new things most of the time because if they didn't try, they will also always stay at the same place forever and have never taken an opportunity to do something new.

✓ I think that people should try new things most of the time because if they do not try, they will always stay in the same place and will never have the opportunity to do something new.

In a first conditional sentence, use the present simple in the if-clause: if they do not try. Do not use the past form didn't when discussing a general possibility or advice.

× I think that people should try new things most of the time because if they didn't try, they will also always stay at the same place forever and have never taken an opportunity to do something new.

✓ I think that people should try new things most of the time because if they do not try, they will always stay in the same place and will never have the opportunity to do something new.

The result of the condition refers to a possible future consequence, so will is appropriate. The complete first conditional pattern is if + present simple, will + base verb.

× So that's why doing new things even if it's fail or it's success but at least they have tried new thing and get new experiences.

✓ That is why people should try new things: even if they fail or succeed, they will at least have tried something new and gained new experiences.

The original sentence contains several incomplete and incorrectly connected clauses. Use clear subjects and parallel verbs: fail or succeed, and tried and gained. Avoid joining clauses with but when there is no complete grammatical structure.