机会— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 回答直接切题，也提供了具体的时间、人物和活动，内容比较丰富。不过，存在明显的语法错误、重复和自我纠正，例如“how to drawing”应改为“how to draw”，“help”应改为“helped”，“which become more confident”应改为“which made me more confident”。此外，“drawing and color skills”表达不自然，可以说“drawing and colouring skills”；“study art in the school”应改为“study art at school”。建议使用“because”或“as a result”连接原因和结果，并将答案控制在2至3句，使表达更流畅。

示例: Yes. When I was five, my grandparents took me to an art class, and I quickly fell in love with painting. The class helped me develop my drawing and colouring skills, and as a result, I became more confident and eventually decided to study art at school.

建议: 回答表达了“应该尝试不同事物”的观点，并尝试使用个人经历支持观点，但第二句没有完整表达清楚，内容也在“in the so many”处中断。需要改正“try to some different things”为“try different things”，“in the junior high school”为“in junior high school”，“joined to the rap club”为“joined a rap club”，以及“I trying”为“I tried”。建议明确说明参加说唱社团带来的结果，例如提升自信、结交朋友或发现新兴趣，并使用“for example”和“because”增强逻辑。

示例: Yes, I think people should try different activities because this helps them discover their interests and develop new skills. For example, when I was in junior high school, I joined a rap club and tried performing in front of other students. As a result, I became more confident and made several new friends.

× The lessons taught me how to drawing and drawing and color skills and help me become more confident, which become more confident, uh, which later influenced my decision to study art in the school.

✓ The lessons taught me how to draw and develop coloring skills, which helped me become more confident and later influenced my decision to study art at school.

在“how to”后面要使用动词原形，因此应将“how to drawing”改为“how to draw”。“Drawing”是动名词或现在分词，不能直接放在“to”后面。建议记住结构“how to + 动词原形”。

× The lessons taught me how to drawing and drawing and color skills and help me become more confident, which become more confident, uh, which later influenced my decision to study art in the school.

✓ The lessons taught me how to draw and develop coloring skills, which helped me become more confident and later influenced me to study art at school.

这段话描述的是童年时发生的事情，所以相关动词应使用过去式。“help”应改为“helped”，“become”应改为“became”。建议叙述过去经历时，保持整段的时态一致。

× The lessons taught me how to drawing and drawing and color skills and help me become more confident, which become more confident, uh, which later influenced my decision to study art in the school.

✓ The lessons taught me how to draw and develop coloring skills, which helped me become more confident and later influenced me to study art at school.

表示在学校学习某种课程或进行通常的学校活动时，通常使用“at school”，而不是“in the school”。“In the school”通常强调在某一所特定学校的建筑内部。

× Yes, I think people usually need to try to some different things.

✓ Yes, I think people usually need to try some different things.

“Try”后面可以直接接名词或名词短语，如“try different things”。“Try to”后面必须接动词原形，例如“try to learn”。因为“some different things”是名词短语，所以不应在“try”和它之间使用“to”。

× When I was in the junior high school, I joined to the raps club and uh, I trying to rap in the so many.

✓ When I was in junior high school, I joined the rap club and tried to rap a lot.

“Rap”在这里作名词修饰“club”，表示说唱俱乐部，因此使用单数形式“rap club”，而不是“raps club”。名词作定语时通常使用单数形式，例如“music club”和“art class”。

× When I was in the junior high school, I joined to the raps club and uh, I trying to rap in the so many.

✓ When I was in junior high school, I joined the rap club and tried to rap a lot.

动词“join”后面直接接组织或俱乐部，不需要介词“to”，所以应说“joined the rap club”，不能说“joined to the rap club”。建议记住：“join + 名词”，例如“join a club”。

× When I was in the junior high school, I joined to the raps club and uh, I trying to rap in the so many.

✓ When I was in junior high school, I joined the rap club and tried to rap a lot.

句子描述的是过去在初中时的经历，因此动词要使用过去式。“I trying”不是完整的过去式表达，应改为“I tried”。如果使用进行时，应说“I was trying”，但这里表达过去的经历，用“I tried”更自然。

× When I was in the junior high school, I joined to the raps club and uh, I trying to rap in the so many.

✓ When I was in junior high school, I joined the rap club and tried to rap a lot.

“in the so many”不是完整或正确的英语结构，句子意思不完整。这里可以用“a lot”表示“经常或很多地说唱”。建议避免在句末使用不完整的介词短语，并确保每个短语都能清楚表达意思。