机会— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Answer the question directly with a clear topic sentence, such as “Yes, I had several opportunities...” Correct the grammar and word choice: use “when I was a child,” “my parents encouraged me,” and “different activities,” rather than “in I was a child,” “my apparent,” and “encouraged me like.” Avoid ending with “and”; complete your answer by explaining which activities you did and how they benefited you. Use linking words such as “for example” and “because” to connect your details.

示例: Yes, I had several opportunities to try new activities when I was a child. My parents encouraged me to take part in sports and music lessons, especially swimming and piano. For example, I joined a swimming club at the age of eight, which helped me become more confident and disciplined.

建议: Give your opinion immediately: “Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities.” Avoid repetition, incomplete phrases, and unclear expressions such as “I had many people,” “try to try,” and “show your talents.” Explain one or two clear reasons, such as discovering interests, developing skills, or meeting people, and support them with a specific example. Keep the response to three or four complete sentences and use linking words like “because,” “also,” and “for instance.”

示例: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities, especially when they are young. This allows them to discover their interests and develop new skills. It can also help them meet people with similar interests. For instance, someone who joins a drama club might discover a talent for acting and make several new friends.

× Yes, of course I had lot of opportunities to take part in I was a child.

✓ Yes, of course, I had a lot of opportunities to take part in new activities when I was a child.

The quantifier lot must be used with the article a in the expression a lot of. Use a lot of before plural countable nouns such as opportunities.

× Yes, of course I had lot of opportunities to take part in I was a child.

✓ Yes, of course, I had a lot of opportunities to take part in new activities when I was a child.

The phrase in I was a child is not grammatically correct. Use the conjunction when to introduce the time clause: when I was a child.

× My apparent encouraged me like different activities like sports, music and learn new things.

✓ My parents encouraged me to try different activities, such as sports and music, and to learn new things.

The intended noun is likely parents, which is plural. When referring to more than one parent, use the plural form parents. Also, keep the verbs parallel by using to try and to learn.

× My apparent encouraged me like different activities like sports, music and learn new things.

✓ My parents encouraged me to try different activities, such as sports and music, and to learn new things.

After the preposition such as, the items should be nouns or noun phrases. Learn is a base-form verb, so the list is improved by using learning if it is listed directly with sports and music. In this correction, to learn is used because it forms a parallel verb structure with to try.

× Yes, I had many people try to try different things like like music and games and other different activities.

✓ Yes, I think people should try different things, such as music, games, and other activities.

The question asks whether people should try different things, so the answer should use the modal verb should. A natural answer is I think people should try rather than I had many people try.

× They can explore your talents and show your talents and different activities with new people.

✓ They can explore their talents, meet new people, and make new friends.

The pronoun your refers to the listener, but the subject is people. Use the third-person plural possessive pronoun their to refer back to people.

× Yes, I had many people try to try different things like like music and games and other different activities and explore your talents and show your talents and different activities with new people and make new friends it is a good thing people some people try something they are.

✓ Yes, I think people should try different things, such as music, games, and other activities. They can explore their talents, meet new people, and make new friends. It is good for people to try new things.

The original response contains several ideas joined together without complete sentence boundaries, creating a run-on sentence. Separate the ideas into complete sentences and use clear conjunctions and parallel verbs to make the answer easier to understand.