机会— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Answer directly and use accurate grammar. Say “different activities,” not “different activity,” and keep the verb forms parallel: “learn Taekwondo, swim, and play tennis.” Replace “Thanks to my aunt that...” with “My aunt always took me...” or “I had these opportunities thanks to my aunt.” Also, “alongside with my” is incomplete; say “alongside my cousins” or remove it. Add one specific result or preference to make the answer more developed.

示例: Yes, I had plenty of opportunities to try new activities as a child. For example, my aunt took me to Taekwondo classes, swimming lessons, and tennis practice. I especially enjoyed swimming because it made me feel confident and energetic. These experiences helped me become more open to trying new things.

建议: Give your opinion more naturally by starting with “Yes, I think people should...” Avoid repeating “try many things” and replace the awkward phrase “find a right part for themselves” with “discover what suits them.” Use concise linking and accurate collocations, such as “whether in their studies, careers, or hobbies.” You could also mention a limitation, such as trying different activities while managing time and money.

示例: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities whenever they have the opportunity. Doing so can help them discover their interests and find out what suits them, whether in their studies, career, or hobbies. For instance, someone might try volunteering and realize that they enjoy working with people. However, they should still manage their time and avoid taking on too much.

× Yes, when I was a child I had many opportunities to participate in different activity.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, I had many opportunities to participate in different activities.

The noun activity must be plural because different refers to more than one activity. Use different activities when talking about multiple activities.

× For example, I used to learn how to do Taekwondo or learn how to swim or playing tennis.

✓ For example, I used to learn how to do Taekwondo, learn how to swim, or play tennis.

The verbs in this list should have parallel forms. After or, use the base form play, not the -ing form playing, because it follows learn and is part of the same coordinated structure.

× Thanks to my aunt that always took me to try new things alongside with my.

✓ Thanks to my aunt, who always took me to try new things alongside me.

Alongside is normally followed directly by an object, so alongside with me is incorrect in this sentence. Use alongside me or with me.

× Thanks to my aunt that always took me to try new things alongside with my.

✓ Thanks to my aunt, who always took me to try new things alongside me.

My is a possessive determiner and must be followed by a noun, as in my friends. Because the sentence means together with me, use the object pronoun me.

× Thanks to my aunt that always took me to try new things alongside with my.

✓ I had these opportunities thanks to my aunt, who always took me to try new things with me.

The original sentence begins with Thanks to my aunt but does not contain a complete main clause. Adding I had these opportunities creates a complete sentence. Use who to introduce the relative clause describing your aunt.

× Yet, in my opinion, if they have a chance to try many things, I would encourage them to try many things as much as they can in order for them to try to explore the world and find a right part for themselves, whether it's study, career or activities.

✓ In my opinion, if people have the chance to try many things, I would encourage them to do so as much as they can so that they can explore the world and find the right path for themselves, whether in their studies, career, or activities.

The original sentence repeats try too many times and uses the awkward structure in order for them to try to explore. Use do so to avoid repetition and so that they can explore to express purpose more clearly.

× Yet, in my opinion, if they have a chance to try many things, I would encourage them to try many things as much as they can in order for them to try to explore the world and find a right part for themselves, whether it's study, career or activities.

✓ In my opinion, if people have the chance to try many things, I would encourage them to do so as much as they can so that they can explore the world and find the right path for themselves, whether in their studies, career, or activities.

When referring to the suitable path for a particular person, use the definite article the: the right path. The article shows that the speaker means the specific path that best suits that person.