机会— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Answer the question directly and organise your ideas more clearly. Correct the plural and verb errors: say “many opportunities,” “I loved playing football,” and “I loved competing,” rather than “I loved it” and “I love.” Avoid fillers such as “uh” and “UH,” and do not repeat “as well.” Use one linking phrase, such as “In addition,” to connect your examples. Keep the answer to three or four fluent sentences.

示例: Yes, I had several opportunities to try new activities as a child. I took dance and music classes because I enjoyed performing, singing, and being creative. In addition, I played football, which kept me active and allowed me to compete with my friends.

建议: Your opinion is clear, but the final sentence is incomplete and the answer becomes less natural near the end. Use more natural phrases such as “gain experience,” “improve their employability,” and “develop practical skills.” Explain one specific benefit with an example, and connect your ideas with “Furthermore” or “For example.” Avoid “employment also,” “less experience on something,” and the unfinished phrase “and or.”

示例: Yes, definitely. I think people should try a wide range of activities because this helps them develop new skills and gain valuable experience. Furthermore, these experiences can improve their employability, especially in today’s competitive job market. For example, volunteering or doing an internship can help young people build practical skills and discover what career they would like to pursue.

× Yes, I had many opportunity to try new activities as a child.

✓ Yes, I had many opportunities to try new activities as a child.

The quantifier 'many' must be followed by a plural countable noun. Therefore, 'opportunity' should be changed to 'opportunities'.

× And I also loved UH sports to like to play football, which I loved it because it kept me active and I love competing with my friends as well.

✓ I also loved sports, especially playing football, because it kept me active, and I loved competing with my friends as well.

The structure 'sports to like to play football' is not grammatically complete or natural. Use 'especially playing football' to give an example of the sport. Also, the sentence should not use both the relative pronoun 'which' and the object pronoun 'it' in the same clause.

× And I also loved UH sports to like to play football, which I loved it because it kept me active and I love competing with my friends as well.

✓ I also loved sports, especially playing football, because it kept me active, and I loved competing with my friends as well.

The relative pronoun 'which' already functions as the object of 'loved', so the additional pronoun 'it' is unnecessary. Use either 'which I loved because...' or, more naturally here, 'because I loved playing it'.

× And I also loved UH sports to like to play football, which I loved it because it kept me active and I love competing with my friends as well.

✓ I also loved sports, especially playing football, because it kept me active, and I loved competing with my friends as well.

The answer describes childhood experiences, so the past tense should be used consistently. Change 'I love competing' to 'I loved competing'.

× And nowadays the job market is more competitive so rather than having less experience on something, they can just do the internships and or.

✓ Nowadays, the job market is more competitive, so people can do internships to gain experience in different fields.

The original sentence is incomplete and ends with the unfinished phrase 'and or'. It also needs a clear main clause and a complete idea. The revised sentence expresses the intended meaning in a complete grammatical structure.

× And nowadays the job market is more competitive so rather than having less experience on something, they can just do the internships and or.

✓ Nowadays, the job market is more competitive, so rather than having less experience in a particular field, people can do internships to gain practical experience.

Use the preposition 'in' with experience related to a field or subject. The phrase should be 'experience in a particular field', not 'experience on something'.