机会— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 回答は質問に直接答えており、具体的な活動や理由も含まれているため、基本構成は良好です。ただし、「being cross to nature」は不自然なので「being close to nature」または「spending time in nature」と言いましょう。また、過去の話なので「walk」は「walked」に直してください。最初に「Yes, I did.」のような明確なトピック文を置くと、さらに自然で効果的になります。

示例: Yes, I did. When I was a child, I often visited a nearby park with my mother because I enjoyed being close to nature. We usually walked around or played games there, so it was a great way to exercise and have fun.

建议: 回答が途中で終わっており、文の構造と意味が不明確です。まず「Yes, I think people should try different things.」のように自分の意見を明確に述べ、その後に理由と具体例を1つ加えてください。「developing」はこの文脈では不自然なので、「trying new things」や「leaving their comfort zone」を使うとよいでしょう。また、「touching new experience」ではなく「gaining new experiences」と言います。

示例: Yes, I think people should try different things whenever possible. Although some people are afraid of leaving their comfort zone, new activities can help them gain valuable experiences. For example, trying a new sport may help someone become more confident and make new friends.

× When I was a child, I often visited the park with my mother because I enjoyed being cross to nature.

✓ When I was a child, I often visited the park with my mother because I enjoyed being close to nature.

Cross does not have the intended meaning here. Use the adjective close with the preposition to to describe a strong connection with nature. A useful expression to remember is close to nature.

× We usually walk or play games there, so it was a good way for me to exercise and have fun.

✓ We usually walked or played games there, so it was a good way for me to exercise and have fun.

The answer describes repeated activities in the past, so the past-tense forms walked and played are required. Keep the verb tense consistent with When I was a child and it was.

× In general, some people are afraid of developing but And they do new things, they're touching new experience and

✓ In general, some people are afraid of trying new things, but when they do try new things, they gain new experiences.

The original sentence is incomplete and contains an incorrect conjunction sequence: but And. It also has an unclear verb phrase, they're touching new experience. Use one clear conjunction, complete the clause after but, and finish the sentence with a complete main idea. A useful structure is Some people are afraid of X, but when they do X, they Y.

× In general, some people are afraid of developing but And they do new things, they're touching new experience and

✓ In general, some people are afraid of trying new things, but when they do try new things, they gain new experiences.

The noun experience is countable when referring to individual events or activities, so it should be plural in this context: new experiences. Use a plural noun after new when discussing multiple activities or events.