机会— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Improve grammar, sentence structure and coherence. Start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question, then add one or two concise supporting details using linking words. Correct verb tense (use past simple) and avoid repetition. Also give a brief specific example or result to make the answer more informative.

示例: No, I didn’t have many opportunities to take part in new activities as a child because both my parents were ill and could not take me to school events. However, I did join a small reading club once when a neighbour helped, and that experience improved my confidence and interest in books.

建议: Make your opinion clear in one concise topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words (for example, because, for instance, and as a result). Avoid repetition and use more natural phrases like “I believe” or “In my view.” Include a concrete example to support your point.

示例: Yes, I believe people should try many different things because it helps them gain valuable experience and discover new interests. For example, trying both team sports and music classes can teach teamwork and creativity, which are useful in many careers.

× As a child, I have no opportunity to take part in any activity because my parents are very sick and they don't allow me to participate in any school activity or or any other activity.

✓ As a child, I had no opportunity to take part in any activities because my parents were very sick and they didn't allow me to participate in school activities or any other activities.

Errors: tense, article/number, repetition, and sentence flow. Use past tense (had, were, didn't) because the question asks about childhood (Grammar Problem Type ID 5 Past tense issue and ID 6 Present tense issue—choose 5). Change 'no opportunity' to 'no opportunity' is acceptable but plural 'activities' fits with 'any'. Remove repeated 'or'. Use plural 'activities' after 'any'. Suggestion: use consistent past tense for past situations, use plural for 'activities' when referring to more than one, and proofread for repetitions.

× Yes, in my side it is a people.

✓ Yes, in my view it is about people.

The phrase 'in my side' is incorrect; the speaker likely means 'in my view' or 'from my side' (Grammar Problem Type ID 12 Incorrect use of pronouns/phrases). 'it is a people' is ungrammatical—'people' is plural and cannot be preceded by 'a'. Suggestion: use 'in my view' or 'from my perspective' and avoid using 'a' before 'people'.

× Yes, in my set people should try different things as they can because from this they can experience and experience is very important in our life and in many fields.

✓ Yes, in my view people should try as many different things as they can because they gain experience, and experience is very important in life and in many fields.

Problems: awkward phrase 'in my set', missing quantifier 'as many', word order and repetition (Grammar Problem Type ID 26 Sentence structure errors and ID 14 Incorrect use of quantifiers). 'From this they can experience' is ungrammatical; use 'they gain experience'. Suggestion: use 'as many different things as they can' and avoid repeating the word 'experience' closely; combine clauses for clarity.

× So in my side people can people can do that.

✓ So, in my view, people can do that.

Issues: repetition 'people can people can' and incorrect phrase 'in my side' (Grammar Problem Type ID 26 Sentence structure errors). Remove the duplicated words and use 'in my view' or 'from my side' for a natural expression. Suggestion: proofread to remove accidental repetitions and use clear linking phrases.