机会— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Structure your answer with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Use correct grammar (e.g., past tense consistent, correct verb forms) and avoid repetition. Improve coherence by using linking words (for example, “also” or “as a result”) and be specific about what you learned from each activity.

示例: Yes. As a child I had lessons in golf, tennis and piano with a private tutor. For example, tennis taught me teamwork and communication because I often played doubles, while piano lessons improved my concentration and discipline. As a result, these activities helped me make friends and develop useful skills for school and life.

建议: Begin with a direct opinion sentence, then give clear reasons and one specific example. Use natural linking phrases (e.g., “Firstly,” “for example,” “because”) and correct word choice and grammar (e.g., “closer to each other,” “make more friends”). Keep the response concise (up to 4–5 sentences).

示例: Yes, I think people should try different activities because it helps them meet new people and learn new skills. For example, joining a sports club or a hobby class allows you to work with others and build friendships. Also, trying new things can boost confidence and make life more interesting.

× Yes, when I was a young child, I played golf, tennis, basketball and even playing piano with private tutor.

✓ Yes, when I was a young child, I played golf, tennis, and basketball, and I even played the piano with a private tutor.

The sentence mixes simple past verbs ('played') with a gerund phrase ('playing'), causing inconsistent parallel structure. Also 'piano' needs the definite article 'the' when referring to the instrument generally, and 'private tutor' requires an article ('a'). Use consistent past tense verbs for parallel list items and include appropriate articles. Suggestion: keep all activities in the same form (played) and add 'the' and 'a'.

× It was very useful and practical scenes as I remember now because from playing with other people I learned a lot about friendship, how we can make close get close to each other.

✓ It was very useful and practical, as I remember now, because by playing with other people I learned a lot about friendship and how we can become close to each other.

'Scenes' is incorrect here; the adjective phrase should describe the experience, not use 'scenes'. 'From playing' is acceptable but 'by playing' is more natural to indicate means. 'Make close get close' is ungrammatical: use 'become close' or 'get close to each other'. Commas improve readability. Suggestion: replace 'scenes' with a noun like 'experience' or remove it, use 'by playing', and use 'become close to each other'.

× While we live in our whole life, when we try to do a lot of different activities, we can get our more close to each other.

✓ Throughout our lives, when we try many different activities, we can become closer to each other.

'While we live in our whole life' is awkward; 'throughout our lives' is the natural expression. 'Try to do a lot of different activities' is wordy—'try many different activities' is concise. 'Get our more close' is ungrammatical: use 'become closer'. Ensure present simple usage for general truths. Suggestion: use idiomatic time phrase 'throughout our lives' and the comparative 'closer'.

× It is one of the best ways how we can make more friendship

✓ It is one of the best ways to build more friendships.

'Ways how we can' is redundant; use 'ways to' or 'ways in which we can'. 'Make more friendship' is incorrect collocation—use 'build friendships' or 'make more friends'. Also use plural 'friendships' or 'friends' depending on meaning. Suggestion: use 'ways to build more friendships' or 'ways to make more friends' for natural phrasing.