机会— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct grammar; start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail and a linking word. Avoid redundancy (e.g., "my parents and my piano teacher they"). Also correct small errors: say "fascinated by musical instruments" and use past tense consistently.

示例: Yes. I often took part in piano concerts as a child because my parents and piano teacher signed me up. For example, I performed in a school recital once a year, which helped me gain confidence and improve my sight-reading skills.

建议: Make your opinion clear, use better linking words and correct grammar. Begin with a direct statement, then give two concise, specific reasons connected by linking words (e.g., "first," "second"). Replace awkward phrases like "it can acquire some new knowledge" with "you can gain new knowledge." Keep answer within 3–4 sentences.

示例: Yes, I think people should try new activities regularly. First, it helps you develop skills—for instance, learning a language can improve communication. Second, you can gain new knowledge and opportunities, such as meeting people with similar interests.

× Well, my parents and my piano teacher they signed me up for this concert because at that time I was fascinated about musical instruments.

✓ Well, my parents and my piano teacher signed me up for this concert because at that time I was fascinated by musical instruments.

The sentence uses an extra subject pronoun 'they' after 'my parents and my piano teacher', which is redundant and ungrammatical (Incorrect use of pronouns). Also the correct preposition after 'fascinated' is 'by', not 'about'. Remove the redundant 'they' and change 'about' to 'by' to make the sentence grammatically correct and natural.

× I believe that people should try a new thing regularly.

✓ I believe that people should regularly try new things.

The original phrasing is awkward: 'a new thing' is unnatural in this general statement. Reordering adverb 'regularly' before the verb and using the plural 'new things' fits general present-tense advice and sounds more natural (Present tense issue and plural usage).

× Well, the main reason is that it improves your skill and it can acquire some new knowledge that you maybe don't know about it.

✓ Well, the main reason is that it improves your skills and can help you acquire new knowledge that you may not know about.

Multiple problems: 'skill' should be plural 'skills' for general ability; 'it can acquire' incorrectly uses 'it' as subject—people, not the activity, acquire knowledge; 'maybe' should be 'may' in this context; and the final 'about it' is redundant after 'know about'. Rephrase to use correct subjects and verb forms and remove redundancy to improve clarity (Incorrect use of pronouns/verb choice and Sentence structure errors).

× And I think it offers some opportunities as well.

✓ And I think it offers some opportunities as well.

This sentence is grammatical as written. No correction needed. The pronoun 'it' refers back totrying new things or the activity, which is acceptable in context. (Marked as no error.)