机会— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be clearer and more fluent: start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific details using linking words. Reduce hesitation and correct key vocabulary (e.g., "try new activities", "ski resort", "learn to ski"). Keep to 2–4 sentences and avoid repetition.

示例: Yes. I had the chance to try new activities as a child, especially in winter. For example, my family took me to a ski resort where I learned to ski for the first time. Although I fell a lot at the beginning, I gradually improved and enjoyed it.

建议: Make your opinion direct and support it with a clear reason and a brief example. Use correct collocations ("try new things", "discover their talents", "gain experience") and linking words ("because", "for example"). Keep sentences concise and avoid vague phrases like "cannot do anything."

示例: Yes, I think people should try many different things because it helps them discover their talents and interests. For example, by trying painting and playing guitar, someone might realise they have a creative talent and want to pursue it further.

× Yes, I had opportunity to run new somethings uh, during winter.

✓ Yes, I had the opportunity to try new things during winter.

Missing definite article 'the' before 'opportunity' and incorrect noun forms: 'somethings' is not used here; use plural 'things'. Also 'run' is incorrect collocation; 'try' fits meaning. Improve by using 'the opportunity' and the plural noun 'things' and a proper verb: 'try new things'.

× My family uh took me uh ski resort that I uh, launched uh, to the uh, skills skills and even it was not.

✓ My family took me to a ski resort where I learned skiing, although it was not easy.

Preposition 'to' was missing before 'ski resort'. 'A' article needed before 'ski resort'. 'Launched to the skills skills' is incorrect: 'learned skiing' is correct collocation (verb + gerund). 'Even it was not' is incomplete; use 'although it was not easy' to convey difficulty. Improve by adding 'to', using 'a', using 'learned skiing', and completing the clause.

× Yeah, umm, I think it's better to launch a new things as much as they can, because if they never try any new one, they don't know they have talent or not.

✓ Yeah, I think it's better to try as many new things as they can, because if they never try anything new, they won't know whether they have talent or not.

'Launch a new things' is incorrect; use 'try' and correct quantifier order 'as many new things as'. 'Any new one' is unnatural; use 'anything new'. Also modal/tense: 'don't know they have' should be 'won't know whether they have' to match conditional future meaning. Improve by using 'try', correct quantifiers 'as many', 'anything', and 'won't know whether'.

× And so I think it is good opportunity if they cannot do anything.

✓ And so I think it is a good opportunity even if they cannot do anything at first.

Missing indefinite article 'a' before 'good opportunity'. Also sentence is vague: add 'even' and 'at first' to clarify meaning that trying is valuable despite initial inability. Improve by adding 'a' and clarifying phrase.