机会— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Bạn trả lời rõ ràng nhưng cần cải thiện ngữ pháp, cách nối ý và cụ thể hoá chi tiết. Cụ thể: (1) Sửa lỗi ngữ pháp số nhiều/đơn (opportunity → opportunities), thì động từ (practice → practiced / we performing → we performed). (2) Dùng từ nối để làm câu mạch lạc (for example, because, which helped). (3) Giảm lặp từ và thêm chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ: tên bài hát, tần suất, cảm xúc). (4) Giữ độ dài dưới 5 câu và tránh tiếng ồm ồm như “uh”.

示例: Yes. I had several opportunities at school to try new activities. For example, I joined the music club and an overnight camping club because I love singing and being outdoors. I practiced with three friends every week and we performed a pop song at two school concerts. These experiences helped me become more confident and created lasting memories.

建议: Ý tưởng tốt nhưng câu lủng củng, ngữ pháp và từ vựng không chính xác. Cần: (1) Trả lời trực tiếp với câu chủ đề ngắn gọn. (2) Dùng cấu trúc rõ ràng để liệt kê lý do (firstly, secondly, finally). (3) Tránh filler như “uh” và cụm từ không rõ nghĩa (“make more beauty”). (4) Cung cấp ví dụ cụ thể hoặc kết quả thực tế để minh hoạ.

示例: Yes, I believe people should try many different things. Firstly, new experiences help you discover talents and build confidence. Secondly, they broaden your perspective and teach practical skills. For instance, trying public speaking helped a friend overcome shyness and find a new hobby.

× Yes, of course I had several opportunity to try new activities at school.

✓ Yes, of course I had several opportunities to try new activities at school.

The noun 'opportunity' must be plural because it is modified by 'several', which requires a plural noun. Change to 'opportunities'. Suggestion: use plural nouns after quantifiers like 'several', 'many', 'few'.

× For example, I enjoyed an overnight club and music club because I enjoy singing.

✓ For example, I enjoyed an overnight club and a music club because I enjoy singing.

The sentence is missing the article 'a' before 'music club'. This is an article error (use of indefinite article) but also affects the noun phrase. Add 'a' to form 'a music club'. Suggestion: use 'a' before singular, countable nouns when mentioning them for the first time.

× I practice with my friends every week and we performing at the school concerts, which helped me gain confidence and make good memory.

✓ I practiced with my friends every week and we performed at the school concerts, which helped me gain confidence and create good memories.

Tense consistency error: the start of the answer refers to childhood (past), so 'practice' should be past 'practiced' and 'performing' should be past 'performed'. Also 'make good memory' is ungrammatical: use 'create good memories' (plural). Suggestion: keep past tense for past experiences and use plural 'memories' with 'create'.

× Yes, of course people should try as many different things as they can because which have them make more beauty make more confident and gain uh create, uh create great memories and you know like.

✓ Yes, of course people should try as many different things as they can because it helps them become more confident, more fulfilled, and create great memories.

This sentence has multiple structural and word choice problems: 'which have them' is ungrammatical; 'make more beauty' is incorrect collocation; 'make more confident' should be 'become more confident'; filler words 'uh' and 'you know like' should be removed for clarity. Suggestion: simplify the clause: 'because it helps them become more confident, more fulfilled, and create great memories.'