机会— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Reduce repetition, correct names and verbs, and add one specific detail. Begin with a clear topic sentence, avoid repeating words (e.g., “in in”), and use correct verbs (e.g., “practising” or “training”). Include a brief specific example of an activity and a linking word to show progression.

示例: Yes, I did. As a child I joined a local judo club and a Scouts group. At first I felt awkward trying judo because I hadn’t done much sport, but after a few weekly training sessions I grew more confident and enjoyed competing in small tournaments.

建议: Make the opinion clear and coherent, fix grammar and pronoun issues, and give a specific reason and example. Use linking words (e.g., “however” or “for example”) and avoid unclear phrases like “keep prank soccer.” Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

示例: I think people should try a range of activities to discover their interests; however, this depends on personal goals. For example, someone focused on becoming a professional soccer player should prioritise regular training to improve their skills while still trying other activities occasionally for balance.

× I had lots of opportunities to take part in in new activities such as joining the Saka Crabs or joining Judo crabs.

✓ I had lots of opportunities to take part in new activities such as joining the Saka Crabs or joining the Judo Crabs.

The original sentence had inconsistent capitalization and the word 'crabs' was lowercase for one team and repeated 'in'. Proper nouns (team names) should be capitalized and kept consistent. Also remove the duplicated preposition 'in'. Suggestion: capitalize both team names and delete the extra 'in' so the noun phrases are parallel. Grammar problem type ID: 1

× At first I felt awkward to try new things, but as I started working there, I got more comfortable with it.

✓ At first I felt awkward trying new things, but as I started working there, I became more comfortable with them.

After 'felt awkward' the gerund form 'trying' is required rather than the infinitive 'to try' (usage with certain adjectives). Also 'it' is vague when referring to plural 'new things' so use 'them'. 'Got' can be replaced with 'became' for formality. Suggestion: use adjective + gerund construction and ensure pronoun number matches its antecedent. Grammar problem type ID: 11

× For example, if they are so into soccer, it is better for him or hard to keep prank soccer and improve their skills

✓ For example, if they are really into soccer, it is better for them to focus on soccer and improve their skills, rather than trying many other things.

The sentence mixes pronouns 'they' and 'him' causing a pronoun reference error; use a consistent plural pronoun 'them' to match 'they'. 'Prank soccer' is incorrect word choice; likely meant 'practice soccer' or 'focus on soccer'. Also the structure 'it is better for them to focus on soccer and improve their skills' is clearer. Suggestion: maintain pronoun agreement, choose correct verbs (practice/focus), and make the contrast explicit. Grammar problem type ID: 12