机会— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct tense and word order (e.g., "When I was a child, I had the chance to try new activities"). Avoid repetition and limit your answer to 2–4 sentences.

示例: When I was a child, I had the opportunity to try several new activities; one of them was dance. I was really interested in dancing because it helped me make friends and improve my coordination, so I attended classes for two years.

建议: Give a direct topic sentence then support it with clear reasons and a brief example; use linking words (because, for example, therefore). Fix awkward phrases and avoid repetition (e.g., "we don't know what will happen"). Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

示例: Yes, I believe people should try as many different things as possible because it helps them discover new interests and build useful skills. For example, trying a part-time job or a hobby can reveal a talent you didn't know you had, which might influence your future choices.

× Yes, once I did kid I get an opportunity to take a part in new activities as a child it was in dance at at that is I was really interested in dance

✓ Yes. When I was a child I had an opportunity to take part in a new activity: dance, which I was really interested in.

This sentence has multiple structure and tense issues: incorrect word order ('once I did kid'), wrong tense forms ('get' should be past 'had'), unnecessary words ('take a part' -> 'take part'), repetition ('at at'), and run-on sentence lacking proper punctuation and clauses. Suggestion: break into clear clauses, use past tense for past events ('When I was a child' and 'I had an opportunity'), use correct collocation 'take part in', remove duplicate words, and use relative clause 'which I was really interested in' to explain interest. Grammar problem type ID:26

× In my opinion I think people should try many different things as they can in life because we don't know when we don't know what will happen in our life, so I think if you got the opportunity, you must take it.

✓ In my opinion, people should try as many different things as they can in life because we don't know what will happen, so if you get an opportunity, you should take it.

Problems: awkward modal and tense combinations and redundant words. 'Try many different things as they can' needs the structure 'as many ... as they can'. Remove repeated 'we don't know'. Use consistent future reference 'we don't know what will happen'. Conditional clause should use present simple 'if you get an opportunity' (real present/future possibility) and advice is better with modal 'should' rather than 'must' for general recommendations. Also remove redundant 'I think' when 'In my opinion' already signals opinion and add commas for clarity. Grammar problem type ID:6