机会— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be clearer and more coherent: start with a direct topic sentence saying yes and naming the activity, then give specific details (when, what you fixed, what skills you learned) using linking words. Avoid unclear phrases like "fix the days" and unnecessary repetition. Keep it within 2–4 concise sentences and use precise vocabulary (e.g., "repairing household items").

示例: Yes. When I was about ten, my father taught me how to repair small household items, like loose doorknobs and broken toys. As a result, I found it fun and learned practical skills—basic tools, patience, and problem-solving—which have helped me fix things at home since then.

建议: Organize your opinion into a clear main sentence, then support it with two specific reasons using linking words (e.g., "however", "for example"). Correct grammar and word choice: use "depends", "enjoyable", "study in depth", and avoid incomplete endings. Keep to 2–4 sentences and give concrete examples to illustrate your point.

示例: I think it depends on a person’s goals. For general interest or hobbies, trying many different activities is enjoyable and broadens your experience; for example, sampling painting, hiking and cooking can be fun. However, if someone wants to become a professional, they should focus on studying one subject in depth to gain advanced skills.

× Yes, one time my dad asked me to fix the days so that time is my new thing, new activity.

✓ Yes. One time my dad asked me to fix some things, so that became a new activity for me.

The original sentence has unclear structure and awkward phrasing ('fix the days', 'so that time is my new thing'). This is a sentence structure error (ID 26). Clarify the object ('some things' instead of 'the days') and rephrase the result clause ('so that became a new activity for me') to make meaning clear and grammatically correct. Suggestion: Identify the specific object you fixed and use a clear result clause: 'so that became a new activity for me.'

× And for me, I think it's very fun and I get some skills for fixing things in my future.

✓ And for me, I think it's very fun and I gained some skills for fixing things in the future.

The tense and verb form are inconsistent: 'I get' with reference to a past event should be past tense 'I gained'. This fits present participle/tense issues (ID 10/6); here the correct fix is past tense. Also 'in my future' is unnatural; use 'in the future.' Suggestion: Keep tense consistent with when the event happened (past) and use natural prepositional phrase 'in the future.'

× In my opinion, I think it's depend on what they want to use in that skill.

✓ In my opinion, I think it depends on what they want to use that skill for.

This is a third-person singular verb agreement and word order issue (IDs 2 and 26). 'It depend' should be 'it depends' to agree with third-person singular. Also preposition placement is incorrect: use 'use that skill for' rather than 'use in that skill.' Suggestion: Ensure subject-verb agreement with 'it depends' and place the preposition after the noun phrase: 'use that skill for.'

× If they want to use like not professional, I think many different things is wood enjoyable.

✓ If they want to use it casually rather than professionally, I think trying many different things is more enjoyable.

Multiple errors: awkward comparative phrasing and word choice ('like not professional', 'wood enjoyable'), and subject-verb agreement ('many different things is'). This matches incorrect use of adjectives/adverbs and subject-verb agreement (IDs 13 and 27). Replace 'like not professional' with 'casually rather than professionally', fix 'is' to 'are' or rephrase to 'trying many different things is more enjoyable' for clarity. Suggestion: Use clearer adverb/adjective phrases ('casually' vs 'professionally') and correct verb agreement or rephrase the subject to a gerund phrase ('trying many different things is...').

× But if you want to try study deep, to be professional, I drink learn by

✓ But if you want to study in depth to become a professional, you should focus on learning deeply.

The original fragment is ungrammatical and incomplete ('try study deep', 'I drink learn by' is nonsensical). This is a sentence structure error (ID 26). Correct by using standard collocations: 'study in depth' or 'study deeply', and a clear recommendation: 'you should focus on learning deeply' or 'you should concentrate on studying in depth.' Suggestion: Use correct verb phrases ('study in depth', 'become a professional') and complete the sentence with appropriate modal verb or advice ('you should...').