机会— Part 1 评分报告
对话
Part 1
考官
Did you have any opportunities to take part in new activities as a child?
考生
Yes, I was an active person and I wanted to try all activities. It was very important to me to participate in all entertainment at school and in gymnastics. It was a necessary part of me because I wanted to try new things and learn something new.
考官
Should people try as many different things as they can?
考生
I think obviously people should try as many different things as they can because it broadens their horizons and gives them more opportunity in the future. They can meet different peoples that are that are very useful for their career and also you can learn new information that is necessary in different areas of the life.
评估
总分
Part 1
Did you have any opportunities to take part in new activities as a child?
分数: 72.0建议: Сфокусируйте ответ: начните с ясного тематического предложения, затем приведите 1–2 конкретных примера (какие именно занятия, как часто, что вы узнали). Избегайте тавтологии и повторов (например, «try new things» несколько раз). Используйте связки для плавности: «for example», «in particular», «as a result». Уменьшите длину до не более 4–5 предложений.
示例: Yes — I had many opportunities to try new activities as a child. For example, I regularly took part in school clubs such as drama and gymnastics twice a week. Because of these activities I learned teamwork and improved my confidence, which helped me later at school. Overall, I enjoyed trying new things because they taught me useful skills.
Should people try as many different things as they can?
分数: 68.0建议: Сделайте ответ более сжатым и структурированным: начните с прямого мнения, затем приведите 1–2 конкретные причины с примером. Избегайте повторов и говорящих слов («obviously», «that are that are»). Улучшите словарный выбор — «people» вместо «peoples», «beneficial»/«advantageous» вместо общих формулировок. Используйте связки: «because», «for example», «as a result».
示例: Yes, I believe people should try a variety of things because it broadens their horizons and creates new opportunities. For example, joining different clubs can help you meet people from various fields and build useful contacts for your career. As a result, you gain new skills and perspectives that are valuable in many aspects of life.
语法
× They can meet different peoples that are that are very useful for their career and also you can learn new information that is necessary in different areas of the life.
✓ They can meet different people who are very useful for their careers, and they can also learn new information that is necessary in different areas of life.
Использовано неверное множественное существительное 'peoples' вместо 'people' (в английском 'people' уже множественное). Было повторение 'that are that are' — это избыточно и грамматически неверно; правильно использовать относительное местоимение 'who' для людей. 'Their career' не согласовано с множественным подлежащим; заменено на 'their careers'. Фраза 'areas of the life' неверна: артикль 'the' не нужен перед 'life' в этом контексте; корректно — 'areas of life'. Также согласованы местоимения и глаголы: заменено обращение 'you' на 'they' для согласования с началом предложения 'They can'. Советы: используйте 'people' для людей, избегайте дублирования слов, согласуйте местоимения с подлежащим и не ставьте ненужный артикль перед 'life'.
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