机会— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more grammatically accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question (e.g., “Yes, I did.”), then give one or two specific examples and a brief explanation using linking words. Correct grammar issues (plural/singular, articles, verb forms) and avoid vague phrases like “many opportunity.”

示例: Yes, I did. My parents encouraged me to join a local music class and a painting club, so I learned how to read music and improve my drawing. As a result, I developed confidence and new skills that I still use today.

建议: Give a clear opinion first, then support it with reasons and a linking word. Avoid hesitation markers (uh) and unclear phrasing. Use correct sentence structure and be specific about benefits or drawbacks. Keep it within 3–4 concise sentences.

示例: I think people should try a variety of activities because it helps them discover their interests and develop new skills. For example, trying a sport and a creative hobby can improve fitness and creativity. However, they should avoid overcommitting so they can focus on what they enjoy most.

× Yes, when I was young I had many opportunity to improve my skills by new activities.

✓ Yes, when I was young I had many opportunities to improve my skills through new activities.

The noun 'opportunity' should be plural 'opportunities' to match the quantifier 'many' (Singular and plural agreement). Also 'by new activities' is unnatural; use the preposition 'through' to indicate means. Suggest replacing 'by' with 'through' and make 'opportunity' plural.

× In fact, one of significant reasons to this is my parents.

✓ In fact, one of the significant reasons for this is my parents.

The phrase needs the definite article 'the' before 'significant reasons' to form 'one of the significant reasons'. Also the preposition should be 'for this' rather than 'to this' (Incorrect use of prepositions combined with article choice). Suggest 'one of the significant reasons for this'.

× The answer of this question is difficult because if people try many different things to try and uh, it had a pleasure on them.

✓ This question is difficult to answer because if people try many different things, it can be pleasurable for them.

The original sentence has multiple issues: 'The answer of this question' is awkward—use 'This question is difficult to answer' (sentence structure). 'To try and uh' is redundant and informal; remove repetition. 'It had a pleasure on them' is ungrammatical; use 'it can be pleasurable for them' to express possibility and correct adjective use. Suggestions: restructure sentence to 'This question is difficult to answer because if people try many different things, it can be pleasurable for them.'