疲惫— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Answer the question directly with a clear topic sentence, then explain the cause. Avoid repeating “low blood pressure” and correct the grammar in “so makes me dizzy” to “which makes me feel dizzy.” Use more natural phrasing such as “since I was a child” and “get out of bed.”

示例: Yes, I often feel tired, especially in the morning. I have had low blood pressure since I was a child, which makes it difficult for me to get out of bed and sometimes leaves me feeling dizzy.

建议: Use a more accurate time expression, such as “after turning off my alarm.” Improve sentence structure by avoiding repeated “because” and “and.” Also, replace the unnatural phrase “wait until blood comes back” with a specific explanation such as “wait until my blood pressure returns to normal.”

示例: I usually feel tired in the morning, especially after turning off my alarm. If I get up too quickly, I can feel dizzy and weak, so I sometimes lie down for a few more minutes until my blood pressure returns to normal.

建议: Begin with a complete sentence, such as “I usually eat something sweet.” Correct “for a breakfast” to “for breakfast” and avoid the unclear phrase “the sugar we eat inside of chocolate.” Explain the result naturally: chocolate gives you a quick energy boost, although you could mention a healthier alternative for more developed content.

示例: When I feel tired, I usually eat something sweet, such as a piece of chocolate, for breakfast. The sugar gives me a quick energy boost and helps me feel more alert. However, I also try to drink some water and eat a proper meal later.

建议: Give a direct answer and explain your decision clearly. Several phrases are difficult to understand: use “go out,” not “go hungered,” “no matter how tired I am,” not “how much I'm tired,” and “I simply reply yes,” not “replied yes.” Avoid the overly general phrase “this is young person's happiness” and provide a specific reason or example.

示例: Yes, I usually still go out with my friends, although I may not stay out for very long. Spending time with them helps me relax and forget that I am tired. However, if I feel particularly dizzy, I stay home and get some rest instead.

× Since I was a small kid, I always had low blood pressure problems.

✓ Since I was a small kid, I have always had low blood pressure problems.

The present perfect tense, have always had, is needed because the situation began in the past and continues until now. Use since with the present perfect when describing an ongoing situation.

× Because the blood pressure is low, so makes me dizzy easily.

✓ Because my blood pressure is low, it makes me dizzy easily.

The sentence needs a subject for the verb makes. Do not use because and so together in the same clause. The pronoun it refers to the low blood pressure.

× Especially just after turn off the alarm clock, I cannot stand up sometimes.

✓ Especially just after turning off the alarm clock, I sometimes cannot stand up.

After is followed by a gerund when it introduces an action. Therefore, turn off becomes turning off. The adverb sometimes is placed before the main verb for a more natural sentence.

× It makes me so much dizzy and tired.

✓ It makes me very dizzy and tired.

Very can modify adjectives such as dizzy and tired. Much is generally used with uncountable nouns or comparative forms, so it is not appropriate before these adjectives.

× I cannot stand up sometimes because if I stand up it makes me so much dizzy and tired and cannot start the day.

✓ Sometimes I cannot stand up because standing up makes me very dizzy and tired, and I cannot start the day.

The second part needs the subject I before cannot start. Repeating the subject makes the sentence structure clear and prevents the final verb phrase from being incorrectly connected to it.

× I eat a lot of chocolate for a breakfast.

✓ I eat a lot of chocolate for breakfast.

Breakfast is used without an article when referring to the meal in general. We say for breakfast, not for a breakfast.

× My tired comes from low blood pressure.

✓ My tiredness comes from low blood pressure.

Tired is an adjective, so it cannot function as the noun after my. The noun form is tiredness.

× So eat a lot of sugar we eat inside of chocolate.

✓ So I eat a lot of sugar found in chocolate.

The original sentence lacks the subject I and contains an incorrect clause structure. Found in chocolate is a clear reduced relative clause describing the sugar.

× The sugar we eat inside of chocolate can boost my body energy up.

✓ The sugar in chocolate can boost my energy.

Use the preposition in to describe something contained in food. Body energy is not the natural expression here; energy is sufficient. Also, boost already means increase, so up is unnecessary.

× If my friends ask me, do you want to go hungered?

✓ If my friends ask me whether I want to go out, I say yes.

After ask me, an indirect question requires normal statement word order: whether I want, not do you want. Go hungered is not grammatically correct for this meaning; go out is the appropriate expression.

× How much I'm tired.

✓ How tired I am.

In an embedded question or clause, the adjective comes before the subject and verb: how tired I am. The order how much I am tired is not correct for describing the degree of tiredness.

× Even it's late nighttime, I simply just reply yes.

✓ Even if it is late at night, I simply reply yes.

Use even if to introduce a condition. Late at night is the natural expression; nighttime is not normally used after late in this phrase.

× I simply just replied yes and go hang out and drink even until late night.

✓ I simply reply yes and go out to hang out and drink, even until late at night.

The question asks about a usual behavior, so use the present tense reply, not the past tense replied. The verbs reply and go should also be in the same tense. Use at night in the expression late at night.

× This is young person's happiness.

✓ This is a young person's happiness.

A singular countable noun phrase such as young person's happiness needs an article. Use a before young person's when referring to one young person in general.