疲惫— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 回答直接回应了问题，也给出了工作时间这一原因，但句子存在明显语法问题，例如缺少主语和谓语形式（“because I always work/walk in the hospital”以及“starts”）。另外，“It’s a long time”不够自然，可以改为“Those are long working hours”。建议使用“答案+原因+结果”的结构，并说明长时间工作如何影响你的状态。

示例: Yes, I often feel tired because I work in a hospital from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. Those are really long working hours, so I usually feel exhausted by the end of the day.

建议: 回答提到了“在工作时感到疲惫”，但“Yet”和“But”连续使用不合适，且“keep myself positive thinking”和“the depressed emotion”表达不自然。建议先明确具体时间或情境，例如“during a busy shift”或“after lunch”，然后解释你如何应对。可以使用“However”连接转折，并改为“stay positive”或“avoid feeling depressed”。

示例: I usually feel tired during a busy shift, especially in the afternoon. However, I try to stay positive and take a short break whenever possible, because it helps me avoid feeling stressed or depressed.

建议: 回答内容较丰富，提供了运动、旅行和吃甜食三个具体方法，但“or”重复较多，导致表达不够流畅；“in my holiday”应改为“on my days off”或“during my holidays”。“keep my mood”不自然，可以说“lift my mood”或“cheer myself up”。建议使用“First... Also... If...”等连接方式，并避免重复“keep my good mood”。

示例: When I feel tired, I usually go to the gym because exercise helps me relax. If I have more free time, I take a short trip during my holidays. Sometimes, I simply eat some chocolate to lift my mood.

建议: 回答明确选择了“Yes”，并说明朋友能让你放松，这是合理的原因。但句子有较多重复和中断，例如“I when I”和“I I”，同时“make me relaxing”应改为“help me relax”，“I can playing the schedule separate”意思不清。建议使用简单清晰的结构：回答观点、说明朋友的作用、举例说明你们通常做什么。

示例: Yes, I still go out with my friends when I feel tired. Spending time with them helps me relax, especially when we chat about our daily lives. I usually choose a quiet café instead of doing anything too tiring.

× Yes, I usually feel tired because always walk in the hospital start at 7:00 AM to 7:00 PM. It's a long time.

✓ Yes, I usually feel tired because I always walk around the hospital, and my workday starts at 7:00 AM and ends at 7:00 PM. It's a long time.

“because”后面的从句缺少主语“I”，而且原句把多个意思不完整地连接在一起，导致句子结构混乱。可以使用完整的主语和谓语，并用“and”连接两个完整的分句。

× Yes, I usually feel tired because always walk in the hospital start at 7:00 AM to 7:00 PM. It's a long time.

✓ Yes, I usually feel tired because I always walk around the hospital, and my workday starts at 7:00 AM and ends at 7:00 PM. It's a long time.

主语“my workday”是第三人称单数，所以动词应使用“starts”和“ends”，不能使用“start”。

× Yes, I usually feel tired because always walk in the hospital start at 7:00 AM to 7:00 PM. It's a long time.

✓ Yes, I usually feel tired because I always walk around the hospital, and my workday starts at 7:00 AM and ends at 7:00 PM. It's a long time.

表示一段时间的起点和终点时，应使用“from 7:00 AM to 7:00 PM”，或者像修改后的句子一样分别使用“starts at”和“ends at”。“start at 7:00 AM to 7:00 PM”搭配不正确。

× Yet I would feel tired at work. But I always keep myself positive thinking to prevent the depressed emotion.

✓ I feel tired at work, but I always stay positive to prevent negative feelings.

问题询问的是通常什么时候感到疲劳，因此应使用一般现在时“feel”，而不是“would feel”。“would”通常表示假设、过去习惯或较委婉的表达，不适合这里描述日常情况。

× Yet I would feel tired at work. But I always keep myself positive thinking to prevent the depressed emotion.

✓ I feel tired at work, but I always stay positive to prevent negative feelings.

“positive thinking”不能直接放在“keep myself”后面表达“保持积极”。这里使用“stay positive”更自然。“depressed emotion”搭配不自然；“negative feelings”更符合“消极情绪”的表达。

× Yet I would feel tired at work. But I always keep myself positive thinking to prevent the depressed emotion.

✓ I feel tired at work, but I always stay positive to prevent negative feelings.

原句同时使用“Yet”和“But”表示转折，表达重复，而且“Yet”放在这里不自然。合并成一个句子并使用“but”即可清楚地表达转折关系。

× I always do some exercise at the gym or go on a trip in my holiday or just eat some candies or chocolate to keep my mood, keep my good mood.

✓ I always exercise at the gym, go on a trip during my holiday, or just eat some candy or chocolate to keep myself in a good mood.

表示“在假期期间”时，应使用“during my holiday”，而不是“in my holiday”。“during”用于表示某个时间段内发生的事情。

× I always do some exercise at the gym or go on a trip in my holiday or just eat some candies or chocolate to keep my mood, keep my good mood.

✓ I always exercise at the gym, go on a trip during my holiday, or just eat some candy or chocolate to keep myself in a good mood.

原句重复了“keep my mood”和“keep my good mood”，使句子结构不完整且表达重复。可以保留一个完整的目的结构“to keep myself in a good mood”。

× Yes I do still go out with my friends because my friends make me relaxing when I when we just chat together and. I I can playing the schedule separate.

✓ Yes, I still go out with my friends because they help me relax when we chat together, and I can forget about my work schedule.

“relaxing”表示“令人放松的”，通常描述事物；描述人的感受应使用“relaxed”。不过，在“help me”后面使用动词原形“relax”更加自然。

× Yes I do still go out with my friends because my friends make me relaxing when I when we just chat together and. I I can playing the schedule separate.

✓ Yes, I still go out with my friends because they help me relax when we chat together, and I can forget about my work schedule.

情态动词“can”后面必须接动词原形，因此不能说“can playing”。应使用“can play”或根据原意使用“can forget”。

× Yes I do still go out with my friends because my friends make me relaxing when I when we just chat together and. I I can playing the schedule separate.

✓ Yes, I still go out with my friends because they help me relax when we chat together, and I can forget about my work schedule.

原句中有重复的“I when I”、重复的“I”、多余的“and”以及不完整的“I can playing the schedule separate”，句子结构不清楚。应删除重复部分，并用完整的分句表达意思。