疲惫— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then briefly list reasons using linking words. Avoid awkward phrases like "artist English test"—be specific (e.g. "an English test for art school"). Use plural/singular forms correctly and reduce redundancy.

示例: Yes, I do. Lately I’m preparing for an English test for art school, working on a university project, and doing a part-time job, so those three commitments often tire me.

建议: Answer directly with a clear time or situation and explain briefly with coherent linking. Correct vocabulary (e.g. 'especially during school projects'), grammar (subject-verb agreement), and pronunciation fillers. Give a specific example of a situation to make it concrete.

示例: I usually feel most tired during group projects at school because I’m quite introverted and find talking with classmates draining, especially when I have to present or negotiate roles.

建议: Organize the answer: state two activities clearly and briefly explain how each helps, using linking words like 'first' and 'second'. Use correct collocations (e.g. 'relax my mind' not 'relax my brain') and avoid unclear phrases like 'feel constraints my foot'. Keep within 3–4 sentences.

示例: When I’m tired I do two main things. First, I play the guitar because music helps me relax and forget stress. Second, I go to the gym regularly since exercise clears my mind and boosts my energy.

× Actually speaking, yes.

✓ Actually, yes.

This sentence has unnecessary wordiness. 'Actually speaking' is not idiomatic here; use 'Actually' to convey agreement succinctly. This is a sentence structure/style improvement (fits item 26).

× Especially now I have to prepare my artist English test and sometimes I have to do the school's project and have some part time job.

✓ Especially now I have to prepare for my art English test, sometimes do school projects, and work a part-time job.

Multiple issues: missing preposition 'for' before 'prepare', incorrect noun 'artist' should be 'art' (word choice), 'school's project' should be plural 'school projects' or 'school project' (singular/plural agreement), and 'have some part time job' should be 'work a part-time job' (verb and article). These are present tense and article/word choice problems (items 6 and 22). Use parallel structure for the list: 'prepare for..., do..., and work...'.

× The three things always make me feel tired.

✓ These three things always make me feel tired.

Use 'these' rather than 'the' to refer to the previously mentioned items; otherwise sentence is acceptable. This is a determiner/article issue and clarity (items 17 and 22).

× Actress Bacon especially do my school's projects.

✓ Especially, acting and rehearsals make doing my school projects difficult for me.

Original sentence is unclear and ungrammatical. 'Actress Bacon' seems incorrect; likely the student meant 'acting' or 'acting classes'. 'Especially' should modify the clause; 'do my school's projects' is awkward. This correction improves meaning and grammatical structure (items 26 and 13).

× This is because I'm very introvert and I'm not very good at talking with uh with the other classmates so it always make me feel tired and I have to yes.

✓ This is because I'm very introverted and not very good at talking with other classmates, so it always makes me feel tired.

Problems: adjective form 'introvert' should be 'introverted' (item 13), unnecessary filler 'uh with the' removed, 'the other classmates' should be 'other classmates' (article/pronoun issue, items 11 and 12), and subject-verb agreement 'it always make' should be 'it always makes' (item 27). Also 'and I have to yes' is incomplete and removed for clarity (sentence structure item 26).

× When I feel tired I always do two things that a man 1 is that I always play the guitar and I think music is a part of my life and make me feel relaxed.

✓ When I feel tired, I always do two things. One is that I play the guitar; music is a part of my life and makes me feel relaxed.

Run-on sentence with redundancy. Add comma after the adverbial clause, split into two sentences, and correct verb agreement 'make' to 'makes' (item 27). Remove unnecessary 'a man 1 is that' which appears to be filler. This addresses sentence structure and subject-verb agreement (items 26 and 27).

× And other thing is I I go to the gym regularly and exercise is a very great way to relax my brain and that can feel constraints my foot.

✓ The other thing is that I go to the gym regularly; exercise is a great way to relax my mind and relieve tension in my body.

Multiple errors: use 'the other thing' (article/item 22), remove duplicated 'I', add 'that' for clarity (sentence structure), 'relax my brain' is better as 'relax my mind', and 'that can feel constraints my foot' is ungrammatical and unclear—likely meant 'relieve tension in my body' (word choice). This fixes tense/usage and improves clarity (items 6, 26, 13).