疲惫— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Câu trả lời đúng trọng tâm nhưng có lỗi ngữ pháp và từ vựng không tự nhiên. Nên dùng cấu trúc ngắn gọn, sửa lỗi động từ (work -> work / surfing -> surf), tránh cụm từ lạ (“scoring my Facebook”) và dùng liên từ hợp lý để nối ý. Thêm một câu chứng minh ngắn gọn để phong phú nội dung nhưng không quá dài (tối đa 5 câu).

示例: Yes, I often feel tired because I juggle work and studies. I also stay up late to surf the internet and check social media, which reduces my sleep time.

建议: Ý rõ ràng nhưng câu dài và lặp từ. Cần một câu chủ đề trực tiếp trả lời câu hỏi, sau đó dùng liên từ như "because" hoặc "especially when" để nối ý bổ sung. Sửa lỗi ngữ pháp (e.g., 'lack of sleep makes it worse' -> 'a lack of sleep makes it worse') và tránh dùng từ không cần thiết như 'while' ở đầu.

示例: I feel tired especially after a long day of studying, because sitting and concentrating for many hours drains my energy. A lack of sleep makes the tiredness worse.

建议: Nên trả lời trực tiếp bằng thì phù hợp (I usually take a short nap). Có nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp (will + take -> usually take; 'after a long hours' -> 'after long hours of studying'; 'I will walking' -> 'I go for a walk' ; 'common music' -> 'some music' hoặc 'relaxing music'). Kết hợp các hoạt động với liên từ 'or' hoặc 'and' để câu trôi chảy, giữ tối đa 3 câu.

示例: I usually take a short nap to feel refreshed. If I can't sleep, I go for a short walk and listen to relaxing music to restore my energy.

× Yes, I often feel tired because of my busy schedule with both works and study.

✓ Yes, I often feel tired because of my busy schedule with both work and study.

'Works' is incorrect when referring to types of activities or employment in this context; use the uncountable noun 'work' to refer to tasks or job in general. Use 'work and study' as parallel uncountable nouns.

× Also, I tend to stay up late to surfing the Internet and scoring my Facebook.

✓ Also, I tend to stay up late surfing the Internet and checking my Facebook.

After 'tend to' use the base verb (tend to + verb), not 'to' + -ing. Moreover, 'scoring my Facebook' is incorrect; the correct verb is 'checking' for looking at Facebook.

× While I easily feel tired when I have had a very long day of study and I haven't slept well.

✓ I easily feel tired when I have had a very long day of studying and I haven't slept well.

The initial 'While' is unnecessary and creates a sentence fragment; remove it. Use the gerund 'studying' after 'day of'. Maintain consistent tense: 'have had a very long day of studying' and 'I haven't slept well.'

× This is because sitting and concentrating for many hours makes me feel exhausted and lack of sleep makes it worse.

✓ This is because sitting and concentrating for many hours makes me feel exhausted, and a lack of sleep makes it worse.

Parallel structure requires noun phrase 'a lack of sleep' rather than verb phrase 'lack of sleep' after 'and'. Add comma before 'and' for clarity. 'A lack of sleep' correctly functions as the subject of 'makes'.

× Well, when I feel tired I will take a short nap because it helps me feel refreshed.

✓ Well, when I feel tired I take a short nap because it helps me feel refreshed.

For habitual actions use the present simple rather than 'will'. 'I take a short nap' expresses a regular response to feeling tired.

× For example when after a long hours or studying I will walking and listen to common music.

✓ For example, after a long hour of studying I will walk and listen to some music.

Remove redundant words: use 'after a long hour of studying' or 'after long hours of studying'. 'Walking' should be base verb 'walk' after 'will'. 'Common music' is unnatural; use 'some music'. Add comma after 'For example'.