礼貌— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be clearer and more natural: start with a direct topic sentence, correct word choice, and a brief example. Use linking words to connect ideas and keep it within 3–4 sentences. For instance, say who taught you, how they taught you, and give a specific example of a polite habit you learned.

示例: I learned to be polite mainly from my parents, especially my mother, who was strict about manners. She taught me to say “please” and “thank you” and to greet adults respectfully. For example, when I visited relatives I always bowed and greeted them, which became a habit.

建议: Give a clear opinion sentence, then support it with concise, specific reasons using linking words. Fix vocabulary and grammar (e.g., 'politely', 'better impressions'). Avoid trailing off; finish your thought in 2–3 sentences.

示例: Yes, I think being polite is very important because it helps you make a good first impression. For example, if you speak politely at work or school, people are more likely to trust and respect you.

建议: Begin with a direct answer naming several occasions, then give a brief reason or example. Use correct collocations (e.g., 'be polite', 'apply for a job/school') and linking words to list occasions. Keep it concise and specific.

示例: We should be polite in many situations, for example when applying for a job or a place at school, during interviews, and when meeting elders. Being polite in these occasions shows respect and increases your chances of success.

建议: Answer directly with a topic sentence, then give a specific example of polite behaviours and a brief reason. Use correct vocabulary (e.g., 'polite phrases', 'elderly people'), and keep it to 2–3 sentences for clarity.

示例: As a child I used polite phrases when speaking to adults, especially elderly people. For example, in Japan I often used honorific expressions and bowed when greeting relatives to show respect.

× Especially my Marz was strict to be polite.

✓ Especially my mother was strict about being polite.

The pronoun/name 'Marz' seems incorrect; likely 'mother' is intended. Also 'strict to be polite' is ungrammatical; use 'strict about being polite' to show the mother's attitude. Replace incorrect noun/pronoun and fix preposition and gerund usage.

× So I usually taught basic manner and polite attitude in daily lives from my mother.

✓ So I usually learned basic manners and polite attitudes in daily life from my mother.

The student used 'taught' (past tense) but context means they received instruction; 'learned' is correct. Use plural 'manners' and 'attitudes' and singular 'daily life'. Also change word order: 'learned ... from my mother.'

× Yes, I think so because if we behave poetly we can receive more better representation from others.

✓ Yes, I think so because if we behave politely we can receive a better impression from others.

'Poetly' is a misspelling of 'politely' (adverb). 'More better' is redundant; use 'better' or 'a better.' 'Representation' is incorrect in this context; 'impression' is appropriate. Ensure adverb modifies verb 'behave.'

× Image from others can lead to our

✓ Others' impressions can affect our opportunities.

Original sentence is incomplete and ungrammatical. 'Image from others' should be 'others' impressions.' 'Can lead to our' is unfinished; likely 'can affect our opportunities' completes the idea. Use possessive and a clear object.

× I think we should pick pride when we apply to a job or school such a like like for our opportunity

✓ I think we should take pride when we apply for a job or to a school for our opportunities.

'Pick pride' is incorrect; use 'take pride.' Use proper prepositions: 'apply for a job' and 'apply to a school.' Remove duplicated words 'such a like like' and clarify 'for our opportunities.'

× I think I used polite plight words to adults in Japan in Japanese they have a polite expression to it elderly people.

✓ I think I used polite words when speaking to adults in Japan; in Japanese they have polite expressions for elderly people.

'Polite plight words' is incorrect—use 'polite words.' 'To adults in Japan in Japanese' is awkward; separate clauses with punctuation. 'They have a polite expression to it elderly people' should be 'they have polite expressions for elderly people.' Use correct preposition 'for' and plural 'expressions.'