礼貌— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and structured: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific examples with linking words. Avoid repeating words like “really” and correct small grammar (e.g., “listen to what they feel” → “listen to how they feel”).

示例: My parents taught me to be polite. For example, they always modelled listening: when a family member was upset, they would sit quietly, ask how the person felt, and offer comfort. Because of this, I learned to listen carefully and respond kindly.

建议: Give a clear topic sentence, then support it with one logical reason and a concise example. Use linking words (for example, therefore) and correct grammar (e.g., “one of the most important things”). Avoid vague phrases like “some of your personality.”

示例: Yes, I think politeness is very important because it reflects respect and empathy. For example, if someone is upset, responding politely and offering help can calm them down and improve the situation. Therefore, politeness helps build better relationships.

建议: Provide a clear, complete answer and avoid trailing off. Start with a direct statement (e.g., “We should always be polite”), then list specific occasions with linking words. Ensure sentences are complete and avoid confusing negatives.

示例: We should be polite in almost all situations, especially in public settings and when interacting with elders or strangers. For instance, when someone is having a bad day, being polite and gentle can help them feel respected and calmer.

建议: Answer with a concise topic sentence and then give one or two specific actions you did, using correct grammar (e.g., “use words like please and thank you” and “not interrupt them”). Avoid fillers like “like.”

示例: As a child, I showed politeness by using words like “please” and “thank you” and by listening carefully. For example, if someone was speaking, I would wait until they finished instead of interrupting, which showed respect.

× I would really say that my parents really taught me how to be polite to other people and really listen to them what they actually feel and hear them out and just to comfort them and that is basically what I think of being polite to other people.

✓ I would say that my parents taught me how to be polite to other people, listen to how they feel, hear them out, and comfort them; that is what I think being polite means.

Problems: repetitive adverb 'really' (stylistic/redundant) and incorrect verb pattern 'listen to them what they actually feel'. Use 'listen to how they feel' or 'listen to what they feel'. Also remove unnecessary 'would' unless conditional; here simple past 'taught' and present infinitives 'listen', 'hear' fit. Suggestion: eliminate redundant words, use parallel verb forms, and use 'listen to how/what they feel'. Grammar problem type IDs: 13 (Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs) and 8 (Verb + -ing form) apply.

× It's something that you show to other people like empathy and that is one of the most important thing in a person.

✓ It shows qualities like empathy, and that is one of the most important things in a person.

Problem: singular/plural mismatch 'one of the most important thing' should be 'things' (Singular and plural issue, ID 1) and awkward structure 'It's something that you show to other people like empathy' — better to say 'It shows qualities like empathy'. Suggestion: ensure 'one of the' is followed by a plural noun and rephrase for clarity.

× For example, if a person is upset and you start up being rude so that is not just good.

✓ For example, if a person is upset and you start to be rude, that is not acceptable.

Problems: awkward verb phrase 'start up being rude' — use 'start to be rude' or 'become rude'. Also 'not just good' is unnatural; use 'not acceptable'. Suggestion: use correct verb patterns and choose appropriate evaluative adjectives.

× I don't think in this particular occasion when you are required to be polite, you should be polite to every person, be it elder or younger to you, but if someone is upset or having a bad day, then I think one should definitely be polite and bring out their soft

✓ I don't think there is a particular occasion when you are required to be polite; you should be polite to everyone, whether they are older or younger than you. If someone is upset or having a bad day, one should definitely be polite and show kindness.

Problems: incorrect 'in this particular occasion' — use 'there is a particular occasion' or 'on this particular occasion' (There be issue, ID 3). 'be it elder or younger to you' should be 'whether they are older or younger than you' (Incorrect use of prepositions/pronouns, IDs 11 and 12). Sentence also ends abruptly 'bring out their soft' — incomplete; replace with 'show kindness' for clarity. Suggestion: restructure into clearer sentences, use 'whether' for alternatives and correct comparative phrase 'older/younger than'.

× I think as a child I would show my politeness by being gentle to the other person and use like words like please and thank you while talking to them and really try to listen to them and not interfere them.

✓ As a child, I showed politeness by being gentle to others, using words like please and thank you, listening to them, and not interrupting them.

Problems: tense inconsistency 'would show' vs past context (Present/past tense issue, ID 6 or 5) — use simple past 'showed'. 'use like words like' is redundant and awkward; use 'using words like'. 'not interfere them' is incorrect verb and object — should be 'not interrupt them' (Verb + -ing form / incorrect verb choice, IDs 8 and 13). Suggestion: use consistent past tense, correct verb forms ('using', 'listening', 'interrupting'), and avoid redundancy.