礼貌— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise, avoid fillers (uh, like), and use a clear topic sentence followed by one or two specific examples of how your parents taught you. Use linking words to make sequence clear (e.g., first, then). Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

示例: I learned politeness mainly from my parents. First, they taught me simple phrases such as 'please' and 'thank you' every day, and they corrected me gently when I was rude. Later, my schoolteachers reinforced these habits by praising polite behaviour, which helped me make them a routine.

建议: Start with a direct, confident statement answering the question. Remove repetition and use a reason and a brief example. Use linking words such as 'because' and 'for example' to connect ideas. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

示例: Yes, I think being polite is very important because it helps maintain respectful relationships with others. For example, polite behaviour at work makes communication smoother and reduces conflicts.

建议: Give a clear topic sentence that answers directly (e.g., 'We should be polite in most social situations'), then list 3 specific occasions using linking words (for example, when, such as). Avoid repeating words and keep sentences concise.

示例: We should be polite in most social situations. For example, when interacting with teachers and classmates at school, when working with colleagues at the office, and when meeting new people at social events.

建议: Use past tense consistently and give specific actions with brief explanations. Start with a clear topic sentence, then list 2–3 concrete examples of behaviours (phrases used, actions like sharing). Avoid unclear phrases (e.g., 'shared my toes').

示例: As a child I showed politeness by saying 'please' and 'thank you' whenever someone helped me. I also greeted adults respectfully and shared my toys with classmates, which showed respect and cooperation.

× During my childhood, uh, I studied or I learned my, uh, good manners from first of all, from my parents.

✓ During my childhood, I learned good manners first from my parents.

The original sentence is wordy and contains filler words and awkward order. This is a sentence structure error (ID 26). Remove fillers (uh, or), simplify 'studied or I learned' to 'I learned', place modifiers in a natural order: 'learned good manners first from my parents'. Suggestion: Practice producing concise sentences and avoid filler words.

× We will tell like, uh, it's always known for, uh, learning the basic things from our home itself.

✓ People often say that we learn the basic things at home.

The original uses awkward phrasing and fillers, causing a sentence structure error (ID 26). 'We will tell like' and 'it's always known for' are incorrect collocations. Use a simple passive/impersonal construction: 'People often say that we learn the basic things at home.' Suggestion: Learn common English collocations (e.g., 'learn at home', 'people often say') and avoid literal translations.

× So my mother and my father told me in post that once I started learning my teacher.

✓ So my mother and father told me that I should listen to my teachers once I started school.

This sentence is unclear and ungrammatical, a sentence structure error (ID 26). 'told me in post' and 'once I started learning my teacher' are incorrect. Clarify the intended meaning: parents advising about listening to teachers when school starts. Use 'listen to my teachers' and 'once I started school.' Suggestion: Break complex ideas into simpler clauses and use common verbs (tell someone that, start school, listen to).

× Having a good manner is strictly an important part of life because we deal with many people during our day daily lives.

✓ Having good manners is an important part of life because we deal with many people in our daily lives.

Errors: 'a good manner' should be plural 'good manners' and 'strictly an important' misuses 'strictly' (ID 13). Also 'during our day daily lives' is redundant. Use 'in our daily lives.' Suggestion: Use correct noun forms (manners) and avoid unnecessary adverbs; place adverbs correctly.

× So once we speak or like we have a discussion with them, we have to be always polite and like it's a mutual respect given.

✓ So when we speak or have a discussion with them, we must always be polite because respect is mutual.

Problems: informal fillers 'like', incorrect adverb placement 'have to be always polite', and awkward passive 'it's a mutual respect given' (covers IDs 20 and 26). Rephrase to 'must always be polite' and 'respect is mutual.' Suggestion: Place adverbs before main verbs ('always be polite') and prefer active, clear phrasing.

× We cannot specify a specific occasion but still we want to be polite or we have to have a good manner every time once we have a discussion with people once we have a like like once we went for the schooling, once we work with colleagues, during every period of time we have to have a good manner.

✓ We cannot name a single occasion; we should be polite whenever we speak with people, whether at school, at work, or elsewhere.

Run-on, repetition, and awkward phrasing make this a sentence structure error (ID 26). Replace repeated phrases with concise alternatives: 'whenever we speak with people' and give examples 'at school, at work'. Suggestion: Use shorter sentences, avoid repetition, and list examples clearly.

× When I was a child I show good manners to other children as well as to adults by saying please thank you and welcome while they are offering something for please like for asking something and also I shared my toes with other children so that it's a sort of respect and a good manner

✓ When I was a child, I showed good manners to other children and adults by saying please, thank you, and you're welcome when they offered something or asked a question. I also shared my toys with other children as a sign of respect and good manners.

Multiple errors: incorrect verb tense 'show' should be past 'showed' (ID 5), missing commas and conjunctions, incorrect phrase 'welcome while they are offering something for please like for asking something', and 'toes' is likely a typo for 'toys' (sentence structure error ID 26). Correct tense consistency and clarify expressions: 'when they offered something' and 'shared my toys'. Suggestion: Ensure past actions use past tense, proofread for typos, and break long sentences into clear clauses.