礼貌— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Improve grammatical accuracy and clarity. Begin with a clear topic sentence, use correct tense and pronouns, and avoid filler words. Add one specific example and use a linking word to connect ideas. For example, say who taught you, how they taught you, and give a short example of what you were taught.

示例: My parents taught me to be polite from a young age. For example, they always reminded me to greet elderly relatives respectfully and to use polite phrases such as “please” and “thank you.” As a result, I learned to bow slightly and speak calmly when meeting older people.

建议: Make your opinion clear and support it with concise, logical reasons. Avoid repetition and vague phrases like “cannot get rescued.” Use linking words (for example, because, therefore) and give one or two concrete reasons or short examples to justify your view.

示例: Absolutely. Being polite is important because it helps build trust and good relationships. For example, polite behaviour at work can lead to better cooperation, and polite greetings make first impressions more positive.

建议: Answer directly and correct vocabulary errors (e.g., ‘in public’, ‘on every occasion’, ‘new people’). Use a topic sentence and then a brief specific list of occasions with linking words. End with a short reason or example to make it concrete.

示例: You should be polite on many occasions, especially in public and when meeting new people. For example, when greeting new classmates or at family gatherings, being polite helps others feel comfortable and creates a friendly atmosphere.

建议: Provide a clear past-tense account with a topic sentence, a specific example, and a linking word. Correct phrasing (e.g., ‘I used to’ or ‘I would always’) and smoother sentence structure will improve naturalness.

示例: As a child, I used to show politeness by asking for things politely. For example, if I wanted a toy from my grandmother, I would say, “May I have this toy, please?” and always thank her afterwards.

× My parents always reminded me to be polite in public, especially when you meet the elderly you have to respect them entirely like you have to why them or speak with them with polite words.

✓ My parents always reminded me to be polite in public, especially that when you meet the elderly you have to respect them completely; you should bow to them or speak to them with polite words.

The sentence uses inconsistent pronouns (me vs you) and incorrect words ('why' instead of 'bow', 'entirely' awkward). This is an incorrect use of pronouns and word choice. Use consistent perspective (either 'I' or general 'you') and correct verbs. Suggestion: maintain the same subject throughout the sentence, replace 'why' with 'bow', and use 'completely' or 'fully' for clarity.

× Absolutely yes, because when you have to meet other people, respect is the society's value that you should follow because it's a better it's a better way to treat each other otherwise you cannot get rescued.

✓ Absolutely, yes, because when you meet other people, respect is a societal value you should follow; it is a better way to treat each other, otherwise you may not be accepted.

The original mixes tenses and has awkward phrasing ('you have to meet', 'it's a better it's a better', 'cannot get rescued'). This is a present tense and sentence structure issue. Use simple present 'meet' for general statements, remove repetition, and replace 'cannot get rescued' with 'may not be accepted' to convey meaning. Suggestion: use concise clauses and consistent tense for general truths.

× To be honest, I think you should be public in every occasions because it's a good manner to treat people very well, especially when you meet a new people a new friends, you should show your manners to them respectfully because it helped you

✓ To be honest, I think you should be polite on every occasion because it is good manners to treat people well; especially when you meet new people or new friends, you should show your manners to them respectfully because it helps you.

This sentence contains incorrect pronoun usage and word choice: 'be public' and 'a new people a new friends' are incorrect. The problem is incorrect use of pronouns and pluralization. Replace 'be public' with 'be polite', 'every occasions' with 'every occasion', 'a new people a new friends' with 'new people or new friends', and correct verb agreement 'helped' to 'helps'. Suggestion: keep number agreement and use appropriate nouns (people plural) and consistent pronouns.

× To be honest I would respect other people by requesting them first for example when I want a toy from my grandma, I always ask her politely that I can get it or not.

✓ To be honest, I respected other people by asking them first. For example, when I wanted a toy from my grandma, I always asked her politely if I could have it or not.

The original mixes conditional/modal 'would' with present 'want' and 'always ask', causing tense inconsistency. This is a past tense issue. Use simple past 'respected', 'wanted', 'asked' to describe past habits. Also use 'if I could have it' for polite requests. Suggestion: when describing past behavior, keep verbs in past tense and use proper indirect question structure ('if I could have it').