礼貌— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Improve grammar and clarity: start with a clear topic sentence, use correct tense and structure, and give one or two specific examples of what your parents taught you. Keep it natural and within 3–4 sentences. Use linking words like “for example” to add details.

示例: My parents taught me to be polite from a young age. For example, they encouraged me to say “please” and “thank you” and to greet elders respectfully. Because of this, I learned to speak kindly to teachers and classmates and to consider other people’s feelings.

建议: Clarify your main idea and avoid filler words. State your opinion directly, then give a concise reason and an example. Use correct vocabulary (e.g., “behavior” not “birds”) and linking words like “because” or “therefore.”

示例: Yes, I think being polite is very important because people form impressions based on behavior. For example, polite behavior at work or school can make others view you as respectful and trustworthy. Therefore, politeness can help build good relationships.

建议: Make your response more concise and natural. Begin with a clear topic sentence stating that politeness is required at all times, then provide two brief, specific contexts as examples using linking words like “for instance” or “also.”

示例: Politeness is important at all times, not just on special occasions. For instance, we should be polite at home with family and at school with teachers and classmates. Being polite in public places, such as on public transport, is important too.

建议: Provide a clear topic sentence and then one or two specific actions you took as a child. Avoid hesitation and repetition; use past tense consistently and include linking words like “for example” to make it coherent.

示例: As a child, I showed politeness by helping my parents and speaking respectfully to adults. For example, I would help with small chores at home and always say “please” and “thank you” when asking for something, which made others feel appreciated.

× When I was inside my parents ever teach me to be a polite.

✓ When I was a child my parents always taught me to be polite.

The original sentence has incorrect word order and missing/extra words. 'When I was inside my parents' is ungrammatical; use 'When I was a child'. 'ever teach me' mixes present with past context; use past tense 'taught' and place adverb 'always' before the verb. Also use 'polite' without the article. Suggestion: arrange subject + time phrase + verb correctly and use past tense for childhood events.

× I always respected others and respected teachers also and talk with others very friendly.

✓ I always respected others and my teachers, and I talked to people in a friendly way.

The sentence mixes past and present verbs: 'respected' (past) then 'talk' (present). Maintain consistent tense (past) for childhood actions. Use 'talked to' followed by 'in a friendly way' (adverbial phrase) instead of 'very friendly'. Also include a subject 'I' before the second clause for clarity.

× So my parents taught me those old things.

✓ So my parents taught me those lessons.

'Old things' is vague and awkward. Use a more natural noun like 'lessons' or 'manners'. The sentence structure is otherwise acceptable; just choose an appropriate noun to convey meaning.

× Yes, I think, uh, someone's birds and the behavior show their, uh, show their image that mean is this person is a very, uh, good or bad.

✓ Yes, I think a person's words and behavior show their character and indicate whether they are good or bad.

This sentence has multiple problems: incorrect word 'birds' (probably meant 'words'), awkward phrasing 'show their image that mean is this person is a very good or bad.' Rephrase to 'show their character' and use 'indicate whether they are good or bad.' Remove filler 'uh' and use singular/plural agreement: 'a person's' with 'their' is acceptable as singular generic. Maintain clear clause order.

× So I think being polite is very important.

✓ So I think being polite is very important.

This sentence is correct. It uses present tense appropriately to state a general truth. No change needed.

× When we being polite, others judge us.

✓ When we are polite, others judge us.

'When we being polite' incorrectly uses the present participle without an auxiliary. Use the present simple 'are' with the adjective 'polite': 'we are polite.' This fixes the verb form and creates a correct clause.

× I think there is no something like occasions to be polite.

✓ I think there are no specific occasions to be polite.

'There is no something like occasions' is ungrammatical. Use 'there are no specific occasions' because 'occasions' is plural (subject-verb agreement). 'Specific' clarifies meaning. Use plural verb 'are' for plural noun.

× I think all need to be polite every time.

✓ I think everyone needs to be polite all the time.

'All' is vague here; use 'everyone' as the subject. Use 'needs' for third-person singular agreement. 'Every time' is better expressed as 'all the time.'

× That mean when we go in the draw we need to be polite.

✓ That means when we go out in public we need to be polite.

'Go in the draw' is incorrect and unclear. Likely intended 'go out in public' or 'go out.' 'That mean' should be 'That means' (third-person singular). Use correct preposition 'out' and phrase 'in public.'

× If we stay in the home we need to be polite with our parents.

✓ If we stay at home we need to be polite to our parents.

Use preposition 'at home' not 'in the home.' Also use 'polite to someone' rather than 'polite with someone.'

× If we go to school we need to polite with our teachers and the students.

✓ If we go to school we need to be polite to our teachers and students.

Missing 'be' before 'polite.' Use 'polite to' not 'polite with.' Omit 'the' before 'students' unless referring to a specific group.

× So always we need.

✓ So we always need to be polite.

Original sentence is incomplete and lacks the verb phrase. Reorder to natural English: subject 'we' + adverb 'always' + verb phrase 'need to be polite.'

× In my childhood, I always like to, uh, respect others and treat others and, uh, look after my parents and uh, uh, work with others.

✓ In my childhood, I always liked to respect and help others, look after my parents, and work well with others.

The sentence mixes present 'like' with past context 'In my childhood.' Use past tense 'liked.' Combine repeated 'others' to avoid redundancy and use parallel structure for the series of actions. 'Work with others' improved to 'work well with others' for clarity.

× Very friendly.

✓ I was very friendly.

'Very friendly' is a fragment lacking a subject and verb. Add 'I was' to form a complete sentence and match past tense context.