礼貌— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 문장이 길고 약간 반복적입니다. 핵심 문장(주제문)을 먼저 말한 뒤, 한두 개의 구체적 세부사항으로 보완하세요. 연결어(for example, because 등)를 사용해 문장의 흐름을 자연스럽게 하고, 불필요한 반복을 줄이세요. 또한 시제와 문장 구성(예: 'they reminded me to say' 등)을 깔끔하게 정리하면 더 명확해집니다.

示例: I learned to be polite mainly from my parents. For example, they always reminded me to say “please” and “thank you,” and they modeled polite behavior in front of me, which made politeness an important family value.

建议: 내용 중 'politeness shows disrespect'는 의미가 반대로 되어 있어 오류가 있습니다. 핵심 의견을 분명히 말한 후, 이유를 구체적으로 제시하세요. 연결어(For example, Because 등)를 사용해 논리를 명확히 하고, 모순되는 표현은 피하세요.

示例: Absolutely — I think being polite is essential because it shows respect for others and helps build trust. For example, polite behavior makes conversations smoother and encourages people to cooperate.

建议: 대체로 잘 답했지만 'or others' 같은 애매한 표현을 구체적으로 바꾸고 예를 하나 더 들어 답변을 풍부하게 하세요. 연결어(especially, for instance)를 사용해 사례를 자연스럽게 추가하면 더 설득력 있습니다.

示例: We should be polite on many occasions, especially when we meet older people or authority figures. For instance, showing respect during family gatherings or at work helps maintain good relationships and makes people feel valued.

建议: 문법(시제와 어순)과 표현이 부정확합니다('I do to say' 등). 간결한 주제문을 말한 다음 하나의 구체적 예시와 이유를 덧붙이세요. 중복된 표현(‘a lot very a lot’, 두 번의 'because')을 줄이고 올바른 문장 구조(past tense)로 고치세요.

示例: As a child, I often greeted people politely by saying “hello” or “hi.” In my culture, these simple greetings are important because they show respect and help start conversations on a friendly note.

× Politeness shows disrespect for others and it helps build good relationships.

✓ Politeness shows respect for others and helps build good relationships.

The original sentence used 'shows disrespect for others' which contradicts intended meaning. This is a lexical/content error rather than passive voice, but according to the allowed list the correction is to replace 'disrespect' with 'respect'. Suggestion: choose the correct noun to convey intended positive meaning; no passive voice needed.

× When I was a child I do to say hello, hi a lot very a lot because in my culture, saying hello is really important because it shows the respect.

✓ When I was a child I used to say 'hello' or 'hi' very often because in my culture saying hello is really important since it shows respect.

Mistakes: 'do to' is incorrect — the correct expression for a past habitual action is 'used to'. 'a lot very a lot' is redundant and ungrammatical; use 'very often' or 'a lot'. 'because...because' repetition should be avoided; replace the second with 'since' or restructure. 'the respect' is incorrect article use; 'respect' is uncountable and does not need 'the'. Suggestions: use 'used to' for past habits, simplify adverb phrases to 'very often', avoid repeated conjunctions, and omit unnecessary articles before uncountable nouns.