礼貌— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Focus on clarity, correct word choice, and sentence structure. Start with a clear topic sentence saying who taught you, then give one or two specific examples of how they taught you. Use correct vocabulary (polite, firmly, praise, scold) and keep sentences short and natural. Avoid repetition and unfinished clauses.

示例: I learned to be polite from my parents. They taught me by correcting my manners and praising me when I behaved well. For example, my mother reminded me to say “please” and “thank you,” and my father gently corrected me when I interrupted others.

建议: Answer directly and support with specific reasons or examples. Use correct vocabulary (politeness, important, children) and linking words (because, for example). Keep answers to no more than five sentences and avoid grammatical errors.

示例: Yes, I think being polite is very important, especially in Japan, because public behaviour affects other people. For example, children are taught by teachers and parents to be quiet on trains so they do not disturb others. This helps everyone feel comfortable in public spaces.

建议: Give a clear topic sentence naming several occasions, then briefly explain one or two with examples. Use correct words (polite, public transport, phone, not allowed) and linking phrases (for instance, especially). Avoid confusing or mixed phrases like “proud” for “polite.”

示例: We should be polite in public places, such as on trains, in restaurants, and at school. For instance, on trains we should speak quietly and avoid using our phones so we do not disturb other passengers.

建议: Start with a clear topic sentence about the actions you took. Use accurate vocabulary (polite, manners, apologize) and give one specific example of behaviour. Use a linking word to show result (so, therefore) and keep it concise.

示例: As a child, I showed politeness by apologizing when I made mistakes and by saying “thank you” to adults. For example, I would apologize to my parents and friends if I accidentally upset someone, and this helped me build better relationships.

× I learned to be poorly to as a child from my mother and father because my parents very words very baristering to me, especially pride and

✓ I learned to be polite as a child from my mother and father because my parents' words were very encouraging to me, especially praise and...

The student used 'poorly' instead of the adjective 'polite' (wrong word choice). 'Very words very baristering' is ungrammatical; likely intended 'their words were very encouraging.' Also possessive form 'my parents' is required and verb agreement 'were' matches plural subject. Suggestion: choose correct adjective (polite), use possessive for parents, and use a clear verb phrase like 'were very encouraging.'

× Yes, I think being priority is very important especially in Japan. A lot of child talk them from teachers or parents when they ride on train to be quiet

✓ Yes, I think being polite is very important, especially in Japan. Many children are taught this by teachers or parents when they ride on trains to be quiet.

'Being priority' is incorrect; the correct noun/idea is 'being polite.' 'A lot of child' should be 'many children' (plural noun). 'Talk them from' is wrong; correct passive structure is 'are taught this by.' Also use plural 'trains' and infinitive 'to be quiet' is fine. Suggestion: use correct noun phrases, plural nouns, and passive voice 'are taught' for the intended meaning.

× I think we should be proud when we ride on trains because trains are people use a train and especially in Japan, it's not allowed to use take a phone.

✓ I think we should be polite when we ride on trains because many people use trains and, especially in Japan, it is not allowed to use a phone.

The student wrote 'be proud' instead of 'be polite' (word choice), but main grammatical issues involve prepositions and article use: 'ride on trains' is acceptable; 'trains are people use a train' is ungrammatical — correct: 'many people use trains.' 'Not allowed to use take a phone' mixes verbs; correct phrase is 'not allowed to use a phone.' Suggestion: use clear noun phrases 'many people' and correct verb 'use,' and keep 'a phone' with article.

× When I was a child I showed my brightness as a child. I apologize to my parents and all my friends when I took a mistake. So it helped me improve

✓ When I was a child I showed my manners. I apologized to my parents and all my friends when I made a mistake. That helped me improve.

The student mixed present and past tense. The context is past, so verbs should be past tense: 'apologized' and 'made' instead of 'apologize' and 'took a mistake.' 'Took a mistake' is incorrect collocation; correct is 'made a mistake.' 'Showed my brightness' is unclear; likely 'showed good manners' or 'was polite.' Suggestion: maintain past tense consistently and use natural collocations like 'make a mistake' and 'apologize.'