礼貌— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and structured: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and correct minor grammar (e.g., tense and word choice). For example, replace “too strict” with “very strict” and remove duplicate words. Mention specific actions your parents took (rules, examples, or routines) to show rather than just tell.

示例: I learned to be polite mainly from my parents. For example, they set clear rules at home, such as saying “please” and “thank you,” and they modelled respectful behaviour by greeting elders every morning. As a result, I picked up these habits naturally and still use them today.

建议: Give a direct opinion first, then support it with a clear reason and a concrete example. Use linking words (because, therefore, for example) and correct grammar (e.g., “in childhood” or “at a young age,” “their future” not “their futures”). Keep the answer to no more than 4–5 sentences.

示例: Yes, I think being polite is very important because it helps people build good relationships and succeed socially. For example, children who learn manners at a young age are more likely to be respected by teachers and peers. Therefore, politeness can make school and work life easier in the future.

× My parents are too strict so because of their guidance also I learned to be polite as a child and they always always guide me to be polite with elders and young girls both.

✓ My parents were very strict, so because of their guidance I learned to be polite as a child; they always taught me to be polite to both elders and younger people.

Issues: sentence run-on, tense inconsistency, word choice and redundancy. 'Are' should be 'were' to match past timeframe 'learned'. Remove redundant words 'so because' and duplicate 'always'. Use 'taught me' instead of 'guide me' for past instruction. Use 'to both elders and younger people' rather than 'with elders and young girls both' for natural, inclusive phrasing. Suggestion: break into two clauses with a comma and semicolon or split into two sentences, keep past tense consistent, avoid redundancies, and use appropriate nouns (people instead of 'girls').

× Yeah, it's very much people do things in children's life that being polite, because if they don't learn to be polite in young age, then it might be very difficult for them in their futures as well.

✓ Yes, being polite is very important in a child's life, because if they don't learn politeness at a young age, it can be very difficult for them in the future.

Issues: awkward structure and tense choices. 'It's very much people do things in children's life that being polite' is ungrammatical and unclear (sentence structure error). Rephrase to 'being polite is very important in a child's life'. Use 'at a young age' instead of 'in young age'. Use 'can be' rather than 'might be' optional but 'can be very difficult for them in the future' is natural. Use singular 'a child's life' or plural consistently; here singular fits better. Suggestion: simplify the sentence to a clear subject 'being polite' and keep consistent tense and natural prepositional phrases.'

× So being polite is very important.

✓ Therefore, being polite is very important.

Minor issue: sentence is grammatically acceptable but 'So' as a sentence starter is informal; 'Therefore' is more appropriate in formal responses. Suggestion: use transitional adverbs for clarity in formal speech, though 'So' is acceptable in conversation.