礼貌— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more direct and coherent: start with a clear topic sentence saying who taught you, then add one or two specific supporting details (what they taught you and an example). Avoid fillers and incorrect grammar. Use linking words like “for example” or “also” to connect ideas. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

示例: I learned to be polite mainly from my mother. For example, she taught me to greet elders and to say “please” and “thank you,” especially when meeting relatives. Also, she explained that politeness helps build respect and good relationships.

建议: Good clear opinion and reasons—improve by adding a linking phrase and a concrete example or consequence. Remove hesitations and keep it concise (2–3 sentences). Use varied vocabulary like “demonstrates” or “fosters.”

示例: Yes, I believe being polite is very important because it demonstrates respect and can foster trust between people who are strangers. For example, a polite greeting at a job interview often creates a positive first impression and can influence how the rest of the meeting goes.

× Like my mom, I will ask me to say, uh, hello to elders.

✓ My mom would ask me to say hello to elders.

The original sentence misuses pronouns and verb forms: 'Like my mom, I will ask me' is ungrammatical because the subject and object refer to the same person incorrectly and the future 'will' is inappropriate. Use a clear subject ('My mom') and the correct reporting verb ('would ask me') to express habitual past action. Also remove filler words and unnecessary commas. Suggestion: use 'My mom would ask me to say hello to elders' or 'My mom asked me to say hello to elders.'

× Uh, and I think it's just because, I don't know, as a human, are you supposed to do that?

✓ I think it's just because, I don't know, as humans we are supposed to do that.

The original ends with a question tag 'are you supposed to do that?' which breaks the flow and doesn't match the preceding statement. Also 'as a human' should match plural generalization 'as humans' and pronoun order should be subject+verb ('we are supposed'). Rewriting as a statement keeps the speaker's intended uncertainty while correcting structure. Suggestion: 'I think it's just because, I don't know, as humans we are supposed to do that.'

× I think being polite is very important because, uh, it shows respect between two people, uh, who may not know each other, and it helps create, umm, a positive first impression.

✓ I think being polite is very important because it shows respect between two people who may not know each other, and it helps create a positive first impression.

The original sentence is mostly correct but contains unnecessary commas and fillers that interrupt flow. Removing extra commas and fillers clarifies the subject-verb relationships. 'It shows' and 'it helps' correctly agree with the subject 'being polite.' Suggestion: avoid filler words ('uh','umm') and unnecessary commas for smoother spoken-to-written conversion.