礼貌— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Improve grammar, clarity and coherence. Start with a clear topic sentence that answers the question, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct verb tense and word choice (e.g., "I learned", "my family", "about manners"). Avoid irrelevant or confusing words like "political" here.

示例: I learned to be polite from my family when I was a child. For example, my parents always taught me to say "please" and "thank you", and they corrected my behavior if I was rude. Because of this, I grew up knowing how to show respect to others in everyday situations.

建议: Make the main idea clear and support it with concrete reasons and a short example. Use correct grammar and linking words (e.g., "In my opinion", "because", "for example"). Replace unclear phrases like "show how do you going" and "mentor respect" with precise language such as "shows your character" and "show respect".

示例: In my opinion, being polite is very important because it shows your character and helps build good relationships. For example, at a party you should be courteous to others by listening carefully and thanking the host, which makes social interactions more pleasant.

× I learn to be polite for my family.

✓ I learned to be polite from my family.

The student used present simple 'learn' but refers to a past learning experience. This is a past tense issue (use 'learned' or 'learnt'). Also preposition 'for' is incorrect with 'family'—use 'from' to indicate source. Suggestion: use past tense 'learned' and 'from' to show origin.

× I am Asian girl and mostly they are serious about political or manner.

✓ I am an Asian girl, and my family is mostly serious about politics and manners.

Missing article before 'Asian girl' (use 'an') and 'they' is unclear—use 'my family' as the subject. 'Are serious about political or manner' is ungrammatical: 'political' is an adjective and 'manner' is singular; use nouns 'politics' and 'manners'. Also subject-verb agreement corrected ('family is' or 'family members are'). Suggestion: add article, clarify subject, use correct noun forms and plural 'manners'.

× It's absolutely higher to me.

✓ It was very important to me.

'Higher' is inappropriate; the intended meaning is 'more important' or simply 'important'. Tense should match earlier past context ('learned') so use past 'was'. 'Absolutely' can remain but 'very' fits better. Suggestion: use 'was very important to me' to convey the intended meaning clearly.

× For my opinion I think being polite is very important because it show how do you going.

✓ In my opinion, I think being polite is very important because it shows how you behave.

Use the phrase 'In my opinion' instead of 'For my opinion'. Subject-verb agreement: 'it show' should be 'it shows'. The clause 'how do you going' is incorrect word order and verb form; use 'how you behave' (noun clause with correct verb). Suggestion: use 'In my opinion' and ensure subject and verb agree and correct clause structure.

× Example if we go to the party we would be polite because in social life we need to mentor respect.

✓ For example, if we go to a party, we should be polite because in social life we need to show respect.

Add 'For example' and commas for clarity. Use 'a party' (article needed). 'Would be polite' is conditional—'should be polite' is more appropriate advice. 'Need to mentor respect' is wrong: 'mentor' is not the correct verb; use 'show respect'. Suggestion: use proper articles, replace 'would' with 'should', and use 'show respect'.