礼貌— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct grammar; start with a clear topic sentence, then give two linked, specific examples with simple linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g., "they were more mature" twice) and correct verb forms ("you imitate" → "you imitate"). Use varied vocabulary (e.g., "observe," "role models," "teachers").

示例: I learned politeness mainly by observing role models at home and at school. For example, I watched my parents greet guests respectfully and use polite phrases, so I copied their behavior. In addition, teachers and classmates corrected my manners and taught me rules like saying "please" and "thank you," which reinforced those habits.

建议: Make your view clear in one direct sentence, then support it with two concise, specific reasons linked by words like "because" or "for example." Fix grammar ("polite is emphasised" → "politeness is emphasized"; remove extra words). Use precise vocabulary ("crucial," "social interactions").

示例: Yes, I think politeness is very important because it helps people communicate smoothly and build trust. For example, in Chinese culture, polite greetings and respect for elders create harmony, and in other countries similar customs help avoid conflicts.

× I think there are several ways to learn to be polite.

✓ I think there are several ways of learning to be polite.

The original sentence is acceptable but using 'ways of learning' is a more natural collocation when followed by a gerund. Suggestion: use 'ways of learning' or 'ways to learn' consistently; both are correct but choose one form for clarity.

× The first would be you imitate others behavior, for example your parents, they were more mature, they are more mature than you so they know how to do it.

✓ The first is imitating others' behavior; for example, your parents were more mature than you, so they knew how to behave.

Multiple pronoun and tense issues: 'you imitate' is an incorrect clause following 'would be'—use a noun or -ing form ('imitating'). 'others behavior' needs possessive apostrophe ('others''). The clause 'they were more mature, they are more mature than you' mixes tenses and is repetitive; match tense to context (past when referring to childhood) and avoid run-on by using a semicolon or separate clauses. Also 'know how to do it' is vague; 'know how to behave' is clearer.

× And the second one is educated by school and parents and your mates.

✓ The second is being taught by school, parents, and peers.

Starting with 'And' is informal; restructure to 'The second is...'. 'educated by' is passable but 'being taught by' is more natural. Use parallel and concise listing: 'school, parents, and peers'. Avoid 'your mates' in formal speech; 'peers' or 'friends' is better.

× Yes I do. I think polite is emphasised a lot in Chinese culture.

✓ Yes, I do. I think politeness is emphasized a lot in Chinese culture.

'Polite' is an adjective but here the noun 'politeness' is required as the subject of the clause. Also include commas after introductory 'Yes'. Use American or British spelling consistently: 'emphasized' (US) or 'emphasised' (UK).

× So does other parts of the world.

✓ This is also true of other parts of the world.

Original is ungrammatical: 'So does other parts of the world' mixes auxiliary inversion incorrectly and has a plural noun without agreement. Use a full clause to convey the idea: 'This is also true of other parts of the world.'

× Being polite is, in my opinion, the most important social etiquette you can learn in when you're living.

✓ Being polite is, in my opinion, the most important social skill you can learn while living.

Multiple issues: 'social etiquette' is countable/uncountable confusion; 'social skill' fits context better. The phrase 'you can learn in when you're living' is ungrammatical—use 'while living' or 'in life'. Remove unnecessary commas. Alternative: 'the most important social skill you can learn in life.'