礼貌— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and direct: start with a clear topic sentence then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid filler words ("uh", "I think so") and repetition ("I would say", "So I think so"). Use linking words for coherence (e.g., "because", "for example").

示例: I learned to be polite mainly from my parents because they always modeled respectful behavior. For example, my mother taught me to say "please" and "thank you," and my father showed me how to listen carefully to others. As a result, politeness became a natural habit for me.

建议: Give a clear opinion then support it with specific reasons and an example. Reduce hesitations and vague phrases ("I do feel", "I think so"). Use linking words ("because", "for instance", "therefore") and avoid colloquial dismissals like "It's not a rocket science" in formal responses.

示例: Yes, I believe being polite is very important because it demonstrates respect and consideration for others. For instance, saying "thank you" at work can improve teamwork and make colleagues feel valued. Therefore, learning basic polite habits can strengthen personal and professional relationships.

× I would say my mom and dad, they are really so polite that by looking at them, I understood and learned the way I have to speak with people and deal with them.

✓ I would say my mom and dad are so polite that, by watching them, I learned how I should speak to people and deal with them.

The original sentence uses a redundant pronoun 'they' after 'my mom and dad', which is unnecessary and disrupts sentence flow (pronoun misuse). 'By looking at them' is awkward; 'by watching them' is more natural. 'I understood and learned the way I have to speak' mixes tenses and forms; use simple past 'learned' and the modal 'should' for habitual advice: 'learned how I should speak to people'. Also use 'speak to' rather than 'speak with' for general advice and remove extra 'so' after 'really' to avoid informal emphasis. Suggestions: remove redundant pronouns, use consistent tense, prefer 'watching' for learning by example, and use 'how I should' for obligation/advice.

× So I think so it's my, uh, learning from my parents.

✓ So I think it is my learning from my parents.

The phrase contains redundant 'so' and filler 'uh'. The contraction 'it's' followed by 'my learning' is awkward; expand to 'it is' for clarity. Also position 'my learning from my parents' is acceptable but 'because of my parents' could be clearer. Suggestions: remove redundant words and fillers and use clear, direct phrasing.

× Yes, I do feel the politeness is very important because it not only shows the respect but also shows the care for the particular person.

✓ Yes, I do feel that politeness is very important because it not only shows respect but also shows care for a particular person.

Using 'the politeness' and 'the respect' is incorrect here; abstract nouns used generally do not need the definite article. 'The particular person' is unnatural; use 'a particular person' or simply 'others'. Also add 'that' after 'feel' to make the clause smooth. Suggestions: omit unnecessary definite articles with general abstract nouns and use appropriate determiners ('a', 'the') when referring to specific or general people.

× Uh, everyone is not polite, but I think so everyone should learn how to be polite.

✓ Not everyone is polite, but I think everyone should learn how to be polite.

The original uses the awkward and nonstandard 'everyone is not polite'; English prefers 'not everyone is polite'. The filler 'so' after 'I think' is unnecessary. Suggestions: place negation before the verb phrase as 'Not everyone is...', and remove fillers for clearer speech.

× It's not a rocket science to learn politeness.

✓ It's not rocket science to learn politeness.

The fixed idiom is 'not rocket science', without the indefinite article 'a'. Including 'a' is a common error when using idiomatic expressions. Suggestions: learn common idioms as fixed units and omit articles when idiom requires it.