礼貌— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct grammar, avoid repetition and filler words, and add a clear topic sentence followed by one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct verb patterns (e.g., “taught how to” → “taught to be”) and reduce repeating phrases like “please, thank you” twice. Aim for 2–4 sentences.

示例: My parents taught me to be polite from a young age. For example, they encouraged me to help elderly neighbors and always say “please” and “thank you,” which helped me develop good manners and respectful habits.

建议: Focus on clarity and accuracy: avoid filler sounds, correct word choice (e.g., “pray appreciation” → “show appreciation”), and avoid repeating phrases. Start with a clear opinion sentence, then give one specific reason and a brief example, using linking words like “because” or “for example.”

示例: Yes, I think politeness is essential because it makes interactions smoother and reduces conflicts. For example, saying “please” and “thank you” in public shows respect and helps people feel appreciated.

× I was taught on how to be polite mainly from my parents who gave me all the examples on politeness.

✓ I was taught how to be polite mainly by my parents, who set examples of politeness.

Use 'taught how to' not 'taught on how to' (remove unnecessary preposition 'on'). Also use 'by my parents' to indicate the agent of teaching rather than 'from my parents'. 'Gave me all the examples on politeness' is awkward; use 'set examples of politeness' for natural phrasing.

× For instance say uh helping out the elderly or saying please, thank you, please and thank you to the neighbors.

✓ For instance, helping out the elderly or saying 'please' and 'thank you' to neighbors.

Original has disfluent filler 'say uh' and repetitive phrasing. Remove filler, add commas, and simplify repetition. Use 'neighbors' without 'the' for general reference and put please and thank you as short quoted words for clarity.

× This has helped me shape my manners and has made me improve.

✓ This has helped me shape my manners and has helped me improve.

Use parallel verbs and consistent auxiliary 'has helped' for both coordinated actions. 'Has made me improve' is awkward; 'has helped me improve' is grammatically and stylistically correct.

× Yes, I think being polite is very important in this modern world.

✓ Yes, I think being polite is very important in the modern world.

Use 'the modern world' rather than 'this modern world' for natural collocation. 'This' is not strictly wrong but 'the' is more idiomatic here; no tense issue.

× Uh, it can help smooth interactions and prevent misunderstandings.

✓ It can help to smooth interactions and prevent misunderstandings.

Add 'to' after 'help' for clearer infinitive structure ('help to smooth') or leave 'help smooth' as an alternative. Both are acceptable; the correction uses 'help to smooth' for clarity and formality.

× For instance, saying please, thank you, please and thank you in public, uh, would show respect and pray appreciation to others.

✓ For instance, saying 'please' and 'thank you' in public would show respect and proper appreciation for others.

Remove repeated 'please and thank you' and filler 'uh'. Replace 'pray appreciation' (incorrect word) with 'proper appreciation' which conveys the intended meaning. Use 'for others' or 'to others'—'for others' is more natural here.