纸— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Your answer is well organized and directly answers the question. You provide relevant details and use linking words such as “so” and “because.” However, “in my primary school and kindergarten” is slightly unnatural; say “when I was in primary school and kindergarten.” Also, “teach me how to fold origami” is more natural than “tell us how to fold origami.”

示例: Yes, I have. When I was in primary school and kindergarten, my teachers taught me how to fold origami and make paper cuttings. I’m not very dexterous with small, fiddly objects, so I usually make larger paper decorations because they’re easier to handle and display.

建议: You have interesting and specific ideas, but the answer contains serious grammar, tense, and sentence-structure problems. Use the past tense consistently because the question asks about your childhood: “I loved,” “I drew,” and “I used to chew.” Avoid the unclear phrase “as long as I can remember when I where I had papers that is handy”; instead, use a clear structure with a topic sentence and supporting example. Also say “little characters,” “while I was telling stories,” and “recorded me doing that.”

示例: As a child, I loved sketching and doodling whenever I had a piece of paper nearby. I often drew random shapes and little characters while telling stories to myself. I also used to chew on paper, which my parents found amusing, so they sometimes recorded me doing it.

建议: You answer directly and give a relevant example, but the sentence is too long and contains an awkward phrase: “or other for example.” Separate the general answer from the example, and use “for instance” or “for example” correctly. You could also say “on the last day of summer camp” and “a tangible keepsake” for more natural phrasing.

示例: Yes, I still write handwritten letters, but mainly for special occasions, such as a friend’s birthday. For instance, at the end of summer camp, I wrote a couple of letters to close friends so that we would have a physical keepsake. They felt more personal than digital messages.

建议: The answer is relevant, coherent, and includes a reason and comparison with digital messages. However, “paint them” is probably not the intended verb; use “frame them,” “decorate them,” or “display them.” Correct the noun phrases to “on a desk or wall” and “sentimental reminders.” Also, letters are not necessarily “easier to remember”; “more memorable” sounds more natural.

示例: Yes, I think many people still keep handwritten letters. Personally, I keep mine, and some of my friends do as well. We sometimes frame them or display them on a desk or wall because they are sentimental reminders of important relationships. They also feel more personal and tactile than digital messages, which makes them more memorable.

建议: You give a clear answer and a specific example, but there are several word-choice and grammar errors. Say “a pen,” not “a pin,” and use “I developed this habit” rather than “It’s a habit I told myself.” The natural expressions are “jot down phone numbers” and “sketch something I find interesting.” Break the long second sentence into two or three sentences for greater fluency.

示例: Yes, I do. I always carry a pen and a small sketchbook with me. I developed this habit because I often need to jot down phone numbers or quick notes. Sometimes I sketch things that catch my eye; for example, I once drew a cup of coffee in a café because it looked aesthetically pleasing.

× I love sketching and doodling as a kid ... I always draw random shapes ... while I'm storytelling it ... and they often record me doing that.

✓ I loved sketching and doodling as a kid. For as long as I can remember, whenever I had paper that was handy, I always drew random shapes and little characters on it while I was telling stories. I also used to chew on paper as a child, which my parents found amusing, and they often recorded me doing that.

The question asks about activities you did as a child, so the past tense is needed. Use loved, drew, was telling, and recorded instead of the present-tense forms love, draw, am telling, and record.

× as long as I can remember

✓ for as long as I can remember

The expression for as long as I can remember is the standard form when referring to the entire period of time from the past until now.

× I had papers that is handy

✓ I had paper that was handy

Paper is normally uncountable when referring to the material, so it does not usually take a plural form here. The relative pronoun that refers to paper, so the verb must be was, not is, because the situation happened in the past.

× little character

✓ little characters

The sentence refers to more than one character because you drew random shapes and multiple characters. Therefore, character should be plural: characters.

× I love sketching and doodling as a kid as long as I can remember when I where I had papers that is handy I always draw random shapes and little character on it while I'm storytelling it and I also used to chew on paper as a child which my parents found amusing and they often record me doing that.

✓ I loved sketching and doodling as a kid. For as long as I can remember, whenever I had paper that was handy, I always drew random shapes and little characters on it while I was telling stories. I also used to chew on paper as a child, which my parents found amusing, and they often recorded me doing that.

The original sentence contains several independent clauses joined together without clear punctuation or conjunctions. Divide it into shorter sentences and use linking words such as whenever and which to make the relationships between ideas clear.

× I still write handwritten letters but mainly for special occasions like a friend's birthday or other for example at summer camp I wrote a couple of letters to close friends on the last day so we could have a physical keepsake that feels more personal than a digital message.

✓ I still write handwritten letters, mainly for special occasions such as a friend's birthday or other special events. For example, at summer camp, I wrote a couple of letters to close friends on the last day so that we could have physical keepsakes that felt more personal than digital messages.

The phrase or other is incomplete, and several ideas are joined without suitable punctuation. Complete the phrase with a noun, such as other special events, and separate the example into a new sentence. Because the example describes a past event, felt and keepsakes are appropriate.

× We often paint or display them on desk or wall as a sentimental reminders

✓ We often paint or display them on desks or walls as sentimental reminders

The sentence refers generally to more than one possible desk, wall, and reminder. Use the plural forms desks, walls, and reminders. Also, the plural noun reminders cannot be used with the singular article a.

× on desk or wall as a sentimental reminders

✓ on desks or walls as sentimental reminders

A general reference to desks and walls does not require a singular article. In addition, a cannot be used before the plural noun reminders, so the article should be removed.

× as a sentimental reminders

✓ as sentimental reminders

The noun phrase is plural because it refers to the letters as multiple reminders. The singular article a and singular form would conflict with the plural meaning, so use sentimental reminders.

× I'm proud to say I do, I always carry a pin and a small sketchbook with me.

✓ I'm proud to say I do. I always carry a pen and a small sketchbook with me.

The original sentence joins two complete sentences with only a comma, creating a comma splice. Separate them with a full stop or join them with a suitable conjunction. Also, pen is the appropriate word for a writing instrument.